Monday, July 7, 2008

Marvel 1968 Week--Fantastic Four #76

We continue our look at the 40th anniversary of Marvel's July, 1968 output by focusing on Fantastic Four #76:

Well, they weren't actually strandedWe're looking at the 3rd part of a four-part epic, so let's allow Stan and Jack to fill you in:

Do you have enough cupholders?In case you didn't feel like blowing that up, the sitch is this: Galactus is a dickweed. After exiling the Silver Surfer to Earth (back in the officially classic FF #50 --Bashful Brian), the big G was shocked to find that our sector of the galaxy is nearly barren of life, so he's starving to death. And since he apparently can't wipe his own butt without help, he's come back to Earth to force Surfer to work for him again. Surfer, not keen on the idea, has used Reed's shrink-o-matic machine to shrink himself down into the Microverse, so Galactus can't find him.

Before we go on, let's acknowledge the World's Greatest Comics Team:

76 issues + annuals, and still going strongThanks, guys. Anyway, Reed and Ben and Johnny hop into Reed's "reducta-craft:"

Engage the oscillation overthuster!Where, you might ask, is Sue at this time of crisis? Well, she's very very pregnant:

He should be boiling water, and getting clean towels
Careful--we musn't distree the women!
Yeah, it's still 1968, so the women folk still have to be protected and sit around worrying about the men folk.

Two notes: first, for somebody "so near" to delivery, Sue looks skinnier than Crystal. I wonder if that's some dumb-ass Comic Code restriction from the day, no showing any actual fat bellies with pregnancy.

Second, despite all the married couple in the comics universes, we have damn few offspring. Lois and Clark, nope. Silver Age of Hawkman and Hawkgirl? Nope. Ralph and Sue Dibny? Nope. Jay and Joan Garrick? Nope. Barry and Iris Allen? Yeah, sort of, in the future, I don't think we've ever actually met them post-Crisis, and who knows where they stand now? Hank and Jan Pym? Nope. I wonder if super-powers increase infertility (or, more likely, many creators are too chicken to deal with real life stuff like children). But unless I miss my guess, Reed & Sue were the first heroes to actually have offspring, and anyone who was "earlier" was retconned well after Franklin was born. Once again, Stan and Jack were way ahead of everyone else.

Anyway, back to our story, as Stan and Jack create the Micronauts:

The LSD starts to kick inMeanwhile, the Silver Surfer is joyous, having discovered that in the Microverse, he is king of infinite space in the nutshell...he's got a whole new universe to explore!!

Everyone on Earth will die, but at least I'm happy!!Our boys find the Surfer, and rush off to battle in a way that brings joy to all our hearts:

Sadly, there is no 'It's clobberin' time' this issueSadly, the Surfer kicks the FF's asses, and flies off. And then the microscopic menace, Psycho Man shows up, ready to whoop some intruders.

Constipation faceHe sends his indestructible android to destroy the Fantastic Four, and obviously inspires Pete Townshend to write Pinball Wizard:

How do you thin he does it?Meanwhile, back in the full-size-a-verse, Galactus proves what a cosmic-level dickweed he is, by violating his pledge not to eat Earth once it becomes inconvenient:

Galactus invents the cosmic ViewmasterBack to our boys. Their losing, hard, but deus ex Surfer shows up to save the day.

Gee, thanks for caringYeah, Surfer, because you forgot the other 28 times the FF demonstrated "indomitable gallantry." You're a jerk, too.

Surfer heads back to Earth to deal with Galactus (SPOILER ALERT: next issue, Surfer arranges some weird-ass "comet hits a lifeless planet and unleashes all sorts of energy that Galactus can consume" event. Yeah, it's lame, but it's still better than the outcome of the second FF movie. Galactus really, really ups his dickweed quotient, because instead of rewarding the Surfer for saving his life, he banishes him back to Earth, so the big G knows where to find him the next time he can't be bothered to find his own food. Convenient, as the Surfer's solo title started up the next month...)

As for our boys? There's one last threat to overcome:

Spoiler: yes.Oh, and Reed "sets the controls to maximum penetration."

Here's a letter writer with a profound proposal:

Iron Man in the FF???It's interesting, because this was printed in an issue where clearly "the loss of one team member" did NOT "immobilize the whole team." Really, Joe Momberg, you wanted less teamwork in a team book??

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Now, is that the Skrull Mar-Vell, or...From the Bullpen Bulletins: "It's a fight to the finish between Mar-Vell and the strangely sinister Super Skrull! What's more, we tossed in a minor nuclear holocaust or two--just to keep things hopping!!"

I guess the tag is correct--at the time Mar-Vell was Marvel's only space-born super-hero. The Surfer didn't have his own mag yet, and as we just saw, wasn't exactly a hero. It's interesting, because DC was full of "space-born" heroes--Kal-El, J'onn J'onnz, Katar Hol...it probably doesn't mean anything, just interesting.

Next time: the Amazing Spider-Man!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm loving Marvel 1968 week! As usual, your observations are funny as hell (well, actually much funnier than hell, since hell is...by definition...not funny). That F.F. story was part of the first "story arc" I read of Marvel's First Family (my first F.F. story was the previous issue), so your post brings back some great memories.

Oh...and the "dickweek quotient" of Galactus? Truer words were never spoken.