Thursday, April 8, 2010

Greatest Generation, Schmreatest Generation

The "greatest generation," as Tom Brokaw dubbed them, weathered the Great Depression, sacrificed mightily to win WWII, and built the United States into the world's superpower.

Or, if you believe Captain Midnight, they were a bunch of greedy, opportunistic fascists who would sell out Uncle Sam for a thousand bucks.

I'll bet your grandparents never told the story that way, huh? But it must all be true, as Captain Midnight shows us that post-war America wasn't all wine and roses in:

We start when the evil Doctor Osmosis--really--breaks into Cap's not-too-well-hidden lair to steal some secret equipment. First Osmosis takes out Cap with a Chris Sims Special:

And then we see why he's there:

You have to squeeze an awful lot of chameleons to get that much oil...So what does the bad doctor plan to do with his new identity as an ersatz Captain Midnight?

Hey!! Forming a veterans organization isn't terribly evil, is it?

Uh...I guess it is. Take over the country?!? Fortunately, he's talking to a group of veterans, right? The ones who sacrificed greatly to defend democracy from tyranny, right? They'd never fall in with Midnight/Osmosis's plan, right?


Wrong. Promise them a thousand dollars, and they'll overthrow the government and install you as dictator.

Now, granted, $1000 went a lot farther back then (after inflation, it's about the equivalent of $9000 today). But still...treason and all?

And yes, it is treason. First step:

Storm the armories?? Seriously??

Second step: take over local governments at gunpoint!!

Third step: take a page from the Mafia handbook, and rough up local businessmen who won't donate to your cause:

Forth step: take over Washington D.C.!!!

Well, that's got to be the limit, right? Nope:

"Yippee!!!"??? What, young Anakin Skywalker is one of them?? And he's awfully excited about the possibility of being in Congress...

So, in just three days, Doctor Osmosis has turned our nation's beloved veterans into armband-wearing goons ready to overturn elections, kick the crap out of civilians, and take over the government, without any hypnosis or mind-control--just a fake identity and a promise of a thousand smackers.

Fortunately for the good old US of A, Doctor Osmosis is an idiot:

Oops. Should have read the label more carefully. I do like the way the caption states it so matter-of-factly, as if we all should have known that Chameleon Oil only lasts three days.

So the real Captain Midnight shows up, knocks Osmosis for a loop, and lectures the veterans on first-years civics lessons:


Thanks, Midnight.

So, at least one comic creator of 1948 wasn't too impressed with "the greatest generation," was he?

I guess it's a good thing Hitler never had any Chameleon Oil and a spare thousand bucks laying around, or the war might have turned out very differently...

The men who saved the world for democracy almost destroy democracy in Captain Midnight #64 (1948). Man, the treason and sedition trials must have gone on for years...

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