Hal Jordan's $100,000 Kiss

Truly, Hal Jordan is the James T. Kirk of the DC Universe.

Let's take an obscure story from the late 70s:

Yes, for a brief period, Hal Jordan was a truck driver. Really.

But in keeping with his Hal Jordan persona, he couldn't just be hauling vegetables, or TVs. Nope, because Hal is a man with no fear, test pilot extraordinaire, what he hauls has to be dangerous--explosives on mountain roads during a storm!!

The trouble is, when you're a total babe magnet, they show up at inconvenient times:

Hal saves the truck, and then discovers that the babe was a holographic message--from space!!

Hmm, it's 1978, and our plot element is a hologram of a beautiful woman saying "Help me." Hmmm...I wonder where they got that from?!?

Anyway, Hal gets up into orbit, and finds an alien ship being attacked by energy-eating space parasites!! And they're kicking his Green Lantern butt, until:


The threat averted for now, Hal boards the ship, only to find--


A hot alien babe totally in love with him!! Eat your heart out, Shatner!!

It turns out that, some years ago, Hal had saved her planet, and she's loved him from afar since that day. That's why she became an astronaut and volunteered for a mission to Jordan's sector.

However, that much commitment to a relationship must be freaking Hal out, so:


And it turns out our Barbarella is actually:


Hal's reaction?

Chicka-waa-waa...

But this is Hal Jordan, after all, and she's not fashion model beautiful...so he immediately gives her the "it's not you, it's me" speech:

And he leaves, without even getting her name...

"Shortly"? I hope not too shortly, if you know what I mean, Hal, eh? Wink nudge...

So, it's "worth having to replace your rig and cargo for one kiss like that?" I'll bet your boss doesn't agree. Let's see, a full rig, and a whole load of explosives...that's a pretty penny there, Hal--tens of thousands, if not more. That must have been some kiss.

How are you going to pay for it? Borrow money from Bruce? Lie to the insurance company? Take a keep jaunt to Alpha Epsilon IV and scoop up some diamonds? Destroy the entire universe and remake it so you're rich (oops, sorry...)?

But back to the point. Hal Jordan has alien babes traveling light years to throw themselves at him, he takes a sample (just a kiss...sure), doesn't get their name, and leaves with a noble-sounding but lame excuse, never seeing them again.

No wonder so many comic fans have such hero worship for him...

Cary Burkett & Joe Staton bring us GL After Dark in Adventure Comics #459 (1978).