Sunday, September 16, 2018

First Name First?!? Or, I'm As Mad As Hell, And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!

Look, I'll fully admit that this is probably just me.

But does anybody know how to alphabetize in the 21st century?!?!

I took the new DC Universe app/streaming service for a spin. It's probably not for me, because I already have most of the video content, the comic content is frustratingly small and I already have much of it, and I subscribe to enough crap already.

Also, early days, so they have a few kinks to work out. So no serious judgement yet.

Except.

In the (frustratingly incomplete) "Encyclopedia" section:

Yes. John Constantine, Jessica Cruz and Jonathan Kent are all alphabetized under J.

 What the hell?!?!

And...

Yup, Abin Sur and Amanda Waller are under A.

ARE YOU PEOPLE SAVAGES?!?!? ILLITERATE?!?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!

I know, I'm way too late to kvetch about this, as modern technology has apparently left vast swaths of our population, even those who allegedly work in editorial capacities, unable to properly alphabetize.

I mean, we're more than a generation into iTunes and other music services that alphabetize my collection by first name, so, say, Melissa Etheridge is under M instead of E, or Pete Townshend is under P. Seriously, if you want to accuse Apple and Amazon of crimes against humanity, alphabetization by first name is the place to start.

And of course, search boxes and Google and "awesome bars" have obviated the need for most folks to know how to actually file or find things. Just start typing, and you'll be taken straight to it! Why bother to learn to alphabetize?!?!

Yeah, yeah, I know. Who cares, right?

BUT YOU'RE THE ONE CALLING IT AN ENCYCLOPEDIA, DC--HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN AN ACTUAL ENCYCLOPEDIA?!? DOES BRITANNICA LIST WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE IN THE W'S?!?!?!? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A LIBRARY?!?!?!? THAT'S NOT HOW THESE THINGS ARE DONE!!!!

Worst of all?

No, not just Thomas Wayne under T. What about "The"??? You're seriously sorting Anti-Monitor and Calculator and Cheetah and Flash--Flash, for goddsakes--under T?!?!

HAVE THE VISIGOTHS TAKEN OVER?!?!? JESUS CHRIST, YOU DON'T FILE THINGS THAT START WITH "THE" UNDER T!!!! AND HOW THE HELL DOES THE USER KNOW WHICH CHARACTERS OFFICIALLY HAVE "THE" AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR NAME??!?! ANTI-MONITOR? REALLY, DC?!?!?!?!?!

In fairness, DC is not alone here. Marvel Unlimited has literally dozens of series filed under T if they start with "the":

Yes, Marvel Unlimited has *some* volumes of Amazing Spider-Man under A, and some under T. Truly, these are the end times.

And no, this is sadly not uncommon. Most of our local movie theaters websites and apps have "alphabetical" listing that put A Simple Favor under A and The Predator and The Nun and The Meg under T.

WHERE WERE YOU BUFFOONS EDUCATED??!? WERE YOU EDUCATED?!?!?! WHAT THE FRAKKIN' FRAK?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Anyway, so that's my pet peeve.

I'd better take a breath now...



Still, it's good to vent...
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6 comments:

  1. dangermashSeptember 16, 2018 at 11:44 AM

    I'm with you all the way on this one.

    As an aside, where do you think Prince Edward came in the alphabt when he was at Jesus College Cambridge? I had to drop a message in his pigeon hole once and struggled to find it.
    P for Prince? No
    E for Edward? No
    W for Windsor? No
    M fir Mountbatten? No
    T for The Prince Edward?

    He was under H

    H for His Royal Highness Prince Edward.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wayne Allen SalleeSeptember 16, 2018 at 4:12 PM

    Don't forget, DC had the heroes all saluting themselves with a great "Heare! Hear!" a few months back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. NancySeptember 16, 2018 at 6:24 PM

    Are you running for office? I'll vote for you. This is a rant I can get behind.

    ReplyDelete
  4. George ChambersSeptember 16, 2018 at 7:25 PM

    I blame the educational system. Grammar, spelling and syntax were everything when I went to school and now they're virtually nothing. Teachers don't mark work down for poor spelling and I'm sure they don't even teach alphabetizing any more.


    Hmmm... I wonder if any local publishers need a grumpy old guy who's a fastidious editor?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jason GlorSeptember 17, 2018 at 6:17 PM

    This started happening when people starting letting computers do all of their sorting for them without thinking about it. Unless explicitly programmed to ignore them (which is challenging), the computer is going to clump all of the "The" names together. That's also why they are being sorted by first name.
    Of course, this can easily be alleviated by changing the names to "Flash, The" and "Wayne, Thomas," etc.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BrianSeptember 19, 2018 at 4:05 PM

    As a guy in my thirties working in a museum archive a few years back, I not-so-fondly remember the weeks that I spent going back through the files and resorting (and combining as needed) all the files that years of college interns had categorized by this very sort of matter. The three or four different forms of ship naming in our naval records was an added bonus!

    ReplyDelete