Clark Kent, The Sam Walton of Smallville!!

You all remember, right?

How Superboy just completely vanished when he was 16?

And 13 years later it was still a mystery?!?

Well, we have a few answers for you, as Clark Kent wakes up one morning...

[Editor's note--va va voom, Lana!!]

So, long story short: 13 years ago, 16 year old Superboy had yet another smackdown with Lex Luthor. Superboy beat him down, but a) Lex's device somehow took away Kal-El's powers, and b) put Kal-El into a coma for ten (10!!) years!!

He woke up, and married Lana. Never went to Metropolis, never met Lois, never became Superman...

Oh, yeah, and:

They had a kid!! And despite being "awake" for only 3 years, they have a two year old kid!! Way to get busy quickly, Clark!!

But wait--in this imaginary story, what does Clark do for a living?

That's right--while Pa Kent served in the state legislature, Clark (somehow) turned a tiny Smallville general store into a nationwide grocery chain with hundreds of stores--in just 3 years!!

The new store in California is pretty swanky...

Clark Kent--Super-Capitalist!!

Ah, but he's been having dreams of being super again. So...

(I think someone was reading this when they planned "Truth"...)

So, he manages to give himself early-Golden Age level powers: leaping high while not flying, strong but not crazy-planet-moving strong, etc.

And so goes The Adventures Of Lana And Clark!!

From Superman #404 (1985)