More Un-Human Than Un-Human

You know, alien invaders aren't all they're cracked up to be.

First, there's their method of announcing the conquest:

See, I didn't know that when they come, they will drop leaflets from the sky and "parachute" monsters down on to us. Geez, guys, low tech much?

Plus, "Comrade X" of the "Red Planet"?? We get it guys...and the commies couldn't even rule one country successfully, so I don't think the "Red Planet" in much to be afraid of.

But the Un-Human?? Who is this astro-creep??

Wow, that is pretty un-human. 8 heads? 4 legs with claws instead of feet? Hairy AND scaly? And the worst part?

Just like every early Hal Jordan story had him facing someone yellow, or with an infra-yellow aura, or yellow fog, or drinking Mello Yello, so too the original Human Torch also seemed to be facing dudes who were fireproof. What's the point of even having powers, man?

So, the Un-Human is tearing up the city...

...when Toro learns that maybe cavorting about in nothing but a speedo is a bad idea:

Great, a poison tongue, too! The Torch takes Toro to Doctor ShoutsTooMuch:

He's standing right next to you, Doc...

But, of course, the Torch has got to stop the monster first. So he takes a "jug" of chloroform from the doctor, and...


Down goes the Un-Human!! Down goes the Un-Human!!

You know, that was a pretty easy takedown of a monster who was supposed to destroy all humans on Earth. really, it didn't even require anyone with super powers.

The Torch rushes off to get Toro his transfusion--because despite being an android, only his blood will do--and all is well. But...

In this quick little 5-pager, we never establish what the final fate of the Un-Human was. Sure, the police could "chain him up" and "finish him with gas." But we never see that...and surely the military or the feds would step in. Would they kill the Un-Human? Or keep him for study, or to turn into their own weapon...?

And we never find out about the response of Comrade X from the Red Planet. He promised to return--where is he?!? Did they ever find out their master monster was a wuss? Did they just give up...or are they plotting revenge, with a bigger, even more un-human Un-Human II?!?

So that's my gift to Marvel this week: a handy-dandy story idea. Bring back the Un-Human, escaped from secret government labs. Bring back Comrade X, to drop more leaflets. This would be a bonzo story for Atlas, or MI-13, or the Fantastic Four. Or the Inhumans vs. the Un-Human!!

Think about it, Marvel, won't you??

By the way, interesting story about this story. According to GCD, when Marvel picked this story to run in Marvel Super-Heroes #16 (1968), they assumed it was a reprint of a 1950s Torch tale. But really, it had never before been published!! Must have been put in a drawer or something when Marvel/Atlas' all-too brief attempt to resurrect their super-heroes in 1953-54 died. So an "all-new" Stan Lee/Dick Ayers story was published as a reprint, debuting 14 years after it was written and drawn. That's pretty cool.

(Unless, of course, the miltary-industrial complex, trying to hide their perfidy in seizing the Un-Human for their own uncouth experimentation, forced Atlas to can the story, and Atlas just canceled the rest of their super-heroes as a cover...hmmmm....)