Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Admit It--You All Have Wanted To Do This

It's fun time at the Daily Planet:

Multiple concussions can be fun!!That's right--it's Bash Jimmy Olson Over The Head Day!!

You know they were lining up around the blog for this one...

The Planet staff has been waiting for this for a loooong timeEven Jimmy himself is getting in on the act!!

Jimmy's head is actually hollow!OK, OK, what in the name of Rao is happening here?

Well, it turns out that twice, Jimmy was bopped on the head by a flowerpot falling from a window ledge...and each time, he got an accurate prophetic vision--seriously!!

Hack comic coincidences='fate'Well, Jimmy's little Louisville Slugger stunt put him in the hospital, and crazy old Professor Potter has a theory:

Professor Potter--scientist to the starsYou see, those flowerpots contained mysterious "imported Tibetan plants," and, as so often happened with DC Science...

Potter's 'brain charts' feature a picture of Olson. This is what we call irony.Uh...go on, Professor...

Missing from chart--Brain Area Keeping You From Hitting Yourself In The Head With A Baseball BatWait a minute!!

The basis for a very bad Nicolas Cage movieObviously, I skipped that day in biology class!!

Anyway, of course a plant then fell on Clark Kent's noggin, and Superman's invulnerable so it won't work on him, but he has to pretend it works so no one will know he's invulnerable, and therefore he has to pretend to see the future and somehow make sure it comes true to protect his secret identity, and then by a ridiculously impossible coincidence it actually does come true, and...phew, it was a lot of work summarizing stories back in the Silver Age.

And then a mysterious "blight" killed all the plants "all over the country" so no more visions (thanks, Kal-El...we know it was really you with some white kryptonite!). Of course, someone could always import some more...

Still, we shouldn't forget the most important part--for a day it was OK to commit potentially lethal assault on Jimmy Olsen. Ahhh, those were the days....

The greatest day in American history took place in Jimmy Olson #87 (1965).

5 comments:

  1. Jimmy "pulling boners"? What the hell was going ON at that newspaper?

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  2. Wow. If Hal Jordan received a plant-smack for every time HE's been hit on the head, he'd be Charles Xavier! ;-)

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  3. yeah, i was taught i'd go blind pulling boners!!

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  4. I just came here to point out the boners.

    Good job, guys.

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  5. ...and what the heck is Perry White doing with a bust of Vladimir Lennin in his office?

    Well...at least he SMASHED it.

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