Friday, September 5, 2008

Maybe it's Tourette Syndrome...

From Green Lantern #34, part 6 of the ever-lengthening "secret origin" of Hal Jordan:

You seriously expect us to believe that the ring can't translate '#$%&'?? That's taking childish to new levels...Really?

Is this how you make Silver Age characters edgy, Geoff Johns? By having them use pretend swear words? Is this how you write "adult" comics, by busting out the Shift key on the numbers row? Because, man, that's about as edgy as a ten year old feeling proud of himself for using a pretend swear word in front of his mom the first time ("hee hee, I said 'heck' but I meant 'Hell!' ").

Either write dialogue that doesn't require swearing, or find the balls to use the actual words, Geoff. If you're going to make all the Silver Age heroes into cussers, either do it for real or go home. This halfway stuff is lame and adolescent. Because really now, does having Green Lantern sound like Sarge in Beetle Bailey actually improve the character or story in any way?

Predicted before, now repeating my prediction: After Flash:Rebirth, in the new Flash ongoing series, during the 17-part "Secret Origin of Barry Allen," Johns is going to have Barry give us a #$%&. Because apparently, he can't help himself (Johns, that is...Barry could help himself, but once Johns gets hold of a character, the character has no choice but to pretend-swear like a cartoon sailor.

2 comments:

  1. Actually, the fact is the ring is either unable (by design or lack of whatever it uses to translate) or unwilling to translate "colorful language" could be kind of a humerous moment. Does DC even do those anymore?

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  2. It could be a humorous moment, except for the fact that it's not actually funny. The true function of that bit is to call attention to the fake swear word, just in case we somehow happened to miss it. Because heaven forbid we not get the chance to gaze in awe at the fact that Johns actually has Hal Jordan swear (sorta kinda)...

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