More than anything else in the world, I want to press down the plunger on a box that triggers an explosion. Too many Warner Brothers cartoons as a kid, I guess.
YOW!! But not for murder and crime--just for fun!! Sheesh!! Way to ruin a man's dreams, guys!!
So why blow up the truck?
They're hijacking alcohol!
As it turns out, not the drinkin' kind, either...
Meanwhile...
Can't get enough alcohol?
Now, this wasn't during Prohibition, and it was 3 years after WWII. Was there really a shortage of medicinal/industrial alcohol in 1948? My god, what about Nyquil?!?!
Meanwhile, since we never get tired of bookkeeping problems in the afterlife:
What?!?
So, wait wait wait. Eternity is essentially Schrödinger's cat? Your death is predetermined...but it isn't?
Of course, this isn't the first time that it's been suggested that murder can alter "destiny" and scheduled death dates. But if that's the case, than tens of thousands of people must arrive in Eternity on the "wrong date" every year!! So what's the point of having a book?!?
Anyway, young Vincent is about to find out why his company is the only one that can still get alcohol.
Sadly, he is *not* the Reed Richards from Counter-Earth.
Happily, Kid Eternity shows up to save Vincent!
But Kid isn't much use against the Brute!!
So he calls...
Joe Grimm!! Sadly, he's not Ben Grimm's cousin (at least as far as we know). He was never a good boxer--his (estimated) record was something like 10-390. But he was known for never, ever being knocked out.
Still, "not being knocked out" is not the same as actually defeating The Brute, who gets away.
But the police are no help.
Vincent goes snooping for evidence...
...but he's not a very good snooper!
Time for...
Zorro!!
Uhhh...why is he in civvies?
Even on the cover?
Maybe there was some rights or trademark issue or something? Maybe the artist didn't know that Zorro wears a mask and costume?
Anyway, plainclothes Zorro isn't much use against the Brute.
Now is the point that we have to give Kid Eternity real props--he actually uses his own noggin and detective skills, rather than calling on others. And he actually soles the case by following the evidence!!
And he's right!
Kid has also learned that speed and skill can work (at least for awhile) against brute strength!
Mmm...molasses!
Eventually, though, he does need help from a strong guy:
Porthos!! This is the fourth time he's been summoned, moving him into a tie for second place!! And he takes down the sticky Brute, no problem!!
Kid expositions us...
And the good guys all prosper!
Still, a sad note...
Vincent has been dead for 20 years now!! Unless, of course, the books were wrong again...
This was the 76th Kid Eternity story, and our standings are:
Abu | 1 |
Achilles | 4 |
Adam | 1 |
Alden, John | 1 |
Antony, Marc | 2 |
Apollo | 1 |
Aramis | 2 |
Arnold, Benedict | 1 |
Arthur, King | 2 |
Astor, John Jacob | 1 |
Athos | 2 |
Atlas | 3 |
Attila The Hun | 1 |
Attucks, Crispin | 1 |
Baker, Lafayette | 1 |
Barry's father | 1 |
Barton, Clara | 1 |
Bernhardt, Sarah | 1 |
Bertillon, Alphonse | 4 |
Blackhawk | 1 |
Bloodhounds (Legree's) | 1 |
Bluebeard | 1 |
Bolivar, Simon | 1 |
Boone, Daniel | 1 |
Bowie, Jim | 1 |
Boyd, Belle | 1 |
Brady, Diamond Jim | 1 |
Brady, Matthew | 1 |
Breitbart, Zishe | 1 |
Bridger, Jim | 1 |
British Tank crew | 1 |
Bucephalus | 2 |
Bunyan, Paul | 3 |
Byron, George Gordon | 2 |
Caesar, Octavian | 1 |
Cagliostro, Alessandro | 1 |
Calhoun, John C. | 1 |
Canary, Martha “Calamity” | 1 |
Cannon, John W. | 1 |
Capulet, Juliet | 1 |
Carden, Foster | 1 |
Carpenter, Daniel | 1 |
Cave Man | 1 |
Cherry Sisters | 1 |
Christian, Fletcher | 1 |
Clancy, Patrick | 1 |
Cleopatra | 1 |
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill | 2 |
Colt, Samuel | 1 |
Columbus, Christopher | 2 |
Corbett, Jim | 3 |
Corcoran, Peter | 1 |
Crillon | 1 |
Crockett, Davy | 1 |
Cronson, Gerald | 1 |
Crusaders | 1 |
Crusoe, Robinson | 1 |
Custer, George Armstrong | 2 |
D'artagnan | 2 |
d'Aubigny. Julie | 1 |
Daedalus | 1 |
Dagger Dan | 1 |
Davis, Richard Harding | 1 |
de Bergerac, Cyrano | 2 |
de Leon, Ponce | 1 |
de Rais, Gilles | 1 |
Decatur, Stephen | 1 |
Discus Thrower | 1 |
Dockstader, Lew | 1 |
Dracula | 1 |
Drake, Sir Francis | 1 |
Dupin, C. Auguste | 1 |
Earhart, Amelia | 1 |
Edison, Thomas | 1 |
Emery | 1 |
Ericson, Leif | 2 |
Fagin | 1 |
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. | 1 |
Faraday, Michael | 1 |
Fink, Mike | 1 |
Frankenstein's Monster | 1 |
Franklin, Ben | 1 |
Galahad | 1 |
Geronimo | 2 |
Goliath | 1 |
Gotch, Frank | 1 |
Gothicus, Claudius | 1 |
Grant, Ulysses S. | 1 |
Graymalkin | 1 |
Greb, Harry | 1 |
Griffiths, Albert | 1 |
Grimm, Joe | 1 |
Gulliver, Lemuel | 1 |
Hamilton, Alexander | 1 |
Hatfield, John | 1 |
Hathorne, John | 1 |
Hauser, Kaspar | 1 |
Henry, Patrick | 1 |
Hercules | 2 |
Hermann, Alexander | 1 |
Hickathrift, Tom | 1 |
Hickok, Wild Bill | 1 |
Hippocrates | 1 |
Hodges, Joe | 1 |
Holmes, Sherlock | 4 |
Hopkins, Matthew | 1 |
Horatius Cocles | 1 |
Houdini, Harry | 3 |
Houston, Sam | 1 |
Hyde, Edward | 1 |
Hyer, Tom | 1 |
Ikhnaton | 1 |
Ismail, Yusuf | 1 |
Jackson, Andrew | 1 |
James, Jesse | 1 |
Javert | 2 |
Jeffries, Jim | 1 |
Johnson, Martin | 1 |
Jones, John Paul | 1 |
Jove | 2 |
Kamehameha | 1 |
Khan, Genghis | 2 |
Kidd, William | 1 |
Lafayette, General | 1 |
Lancelot | 2 |
Larsen, Wolf | 1 |
Laughing Cavalier | 1 |
Laveran, Charles | 1 |
Leander | 3 |
Lee, Robert E. | 1 |
Legree, Simon | 1 |
Leonidas | 2 |
Light Brigade | 1 |
Lincoln, Abraham | 1 |
Lister, Joseph | 2 |
Macbeth's Witches | 1 |
Marable, Fate | 1 |
Marshall, John | 1 |
Masterson, Bat | 1 |
McGrew, Dan | 1 |
Mercury | 5 |
Merlin | 1 |
Mesmer, Franz | 1 |
Milo Of Croton | 2 |
Minutemen | 1 |
Mix, Tom | 1 |
Montague, Romeo | 1 |
Montezuma | 1 |
Morgan, Henry | 1 |
Mounties | 1 |
Mulgrew, Jason | 1 |
Murphy, Charles | 1 |
Napoleon | 1 |
Nation, Carrie | 1 |
Neanderthal | 2 |
Nefertiti | 1 |
Neptune | 1 |
Nightingale, Florence | 1 |
Noah | 1 |
Nobel, Alfred | 2 |
Nobody | 2 |
North Wind | 1 |
Nostradamus | 2 |
O'Brien, David | 1 |
Oakley, Annie | 1 |
Og | 1 |
Orpheus | 1 |
Osceola | 1 |
Paddock, Charley | 1 |
Pasteur, Louis | 1 |
Penelope | 1 |
Perseus | 1 |
Pheidippides | 2 |
Pied Piper | 1 |
Pinkerton, Allan | 1 |
Plastic Man | 1 |
Pocahontas | 1 |
Porthos | 4 |
Post, Wiley | 1 |
Prometheus | 1 |
Quixote, Don | 2 |
Revere, Paul | 1 |
Richard the LionHeart | 1 |
Rin-Tin-Tin | 2 |
Robespierre, Maximilien | 1 |
Robin Hood | 3 |
Roc | 1 |
Rogers' Rangers | 2 |
Röntgen, Wilhelm | 1 |
Russell, Lillian | 1 |
Rustum | 1 |
Ryan, Paddy | 1 |
Samson | 3 |
Sandow, Eugen | 1 |
Sayers, Tom | 1 |
Schleyer, Johann | 1 |
Selous, Frederick | 1 |
Serra, Junipero | 1 |
Shakespeare, Willaim | 1 |
Siegfried | 1 |
Silver, Long John | 2 |
Skunk, Jimmy | 1 |
Socrates | 1 |
Solomon | 1 |
Stanley, Henry | 1 |
Steinmetz, Charles | 2 |
Stogie | 1 |
Sullivan, John L. | 2 |
Tecumseh | 1 |
Tell, William | 1 |
Thalfi | 1 |
Thor | 3 |
Thumb, Tom | 1 |
Thurston, Howard | 1 |
Tiglath IV | 1 |
Tuck, Friar | 1 |
Tut-ankh-amen | 1 |
Twain, Mark | 1 |
Ulysses | 1 |
Uncas | 1 |
Valjean, Jean | 1 |
Vercingetorix | 1 |
Villa, Pancho | 1 |
Villon, Francois | 1 |
von Helmholtz, Hermann | 1 |
Vulcan | 1 |
Washington, George | 3 |
Watson, John H | 1 |
Webster, Daniel | 2 |
Whittington, Richard | 1 |
Wright Brothers | 1 |
Xanthippe | 1 |
Zapata, Emiliano | 1 |
Zbyzko, Stanislaus | 1 |
Zorro | 1 |
NEXT--Gods and conquerors!
From Hit Comics #55 (1948)
This was greaat to read
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