Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--The Kid Vs. Goldfinger?!?

You know, there's one big problem that no one has considered with alchemy:


What if it's simply not cost effective? Sure, gold is valuable, but what if costs more in materials than the gold you produce is worth?!?

Nobody tell Diablo.

Ah, but femme fatale Berta convinces Dr. Midas that massive terrorism is a tiny price to pay for gold!


So...


Dude, there had to be people in that building!! What a dick!!


Well, the sound of a collapsing skyscraper is enough to reach Eternity...



Damn, Lumpkin can punch!

When our rogue alchemist and henchamn get away, Kid calls for some physics advice:

Michael Faraday!! It's a good things he's stayed up-to-date on modern physics...

And to track the miscreants?

Pocahontas!! Congratulations, ma'am, you are the 200th character summoned by Kid Eternity!!


Meanwhile, Berta wants to go on a spending spree, but Midas is too much of a nerd to do it!!


The greatest alchemist in history? Don't tell that to Diablo...


Obviously, Midas hasn't watched enough films to know that this was inevitable.

Kid arrives, but...




...Lumpkin can't be stopped. Except, maybe, by...

Peter Corcoran!

He makes short work of Lumpkin.

And to take care of Midas?

Merlin!!

Now, this is confusing. In a story four years ago, we saw Merlin, and Kid didn't summon him--he was still alive!! And he was a villain!!

So did Merlin die in the interim? Was there more than one Merlin? What the hell? Am I the only one paying attention?!?!

Anyway, this Merlin can out-alchemy Dr. Midas!




With Lumpkin out of the way, Kid can handle this!

But Berta has recovered, and she's taking the formula!!

How to stop her??

The Pied Piper!!


And now for your gratuitous sexism of the day:

Oh, Kid.

But that cop isn't going to let Kid get away with leaving the street filled wit rats!


So why not summon...

Sir Richard Whittington and Graymalkin!!

Now, there was a real Richard Whittingon, who was actually 4-time mayor of London, back in the 14th & 15th centuries. Now, there's no evidence he had a cat, but he was quite popular, and was the inspiration for the bit of folklore Dick Whittington And His Cat. So, we're confused again. I'll just count the (real) historical figure and the no doubt fictional cat as separate summons. Because it's my blog.

And because Graymalkin does most of the work!


So, wait--you were going to run Kid Eternity in for leaving a bunch of live rats and mice around--but for leaving a bunch of dead ones, you'll let him go?!?! Come on, beat cop!!

The bad guys are sent away...

...and we end with a bad joke:

Sigh...

This was the sixtieth Kid Eternity story--60!!. Time flies when you're having fun!! Our standings are:

Mercury 5
Achilles 4
Atlas 3
Bunyan, Paul 3
Corbett, Jim 3
Holmes, Sherlock 3
Houdini, Harry 3
Leander 3
Robin Hood 3
Thor 3
Washington, George 3
Antony, Marc 2
Arthur, King 2
Bucephalus 2
Byron, George Gordon 2
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Columbus, Christopher 2
D'artagnan 2
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
Ericson, Leif 2
Geronimo 2
Hercules 2
Jove 2
Khan, Genghis 2
Lister, Joseph 2
Milo Of Croton 2
Nostradamus 2
Porthos 2
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Rogers' Rangers 2
Samson 2
Silver, Long John 2
Sullivan, John L. 2
Webster, Daniel 2
Abu 1
Adam 1
Apollo 1
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Colt, Samuel 1
Corcoran, Peter 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Kamehameha 1
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 1
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Merlin 1
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 1
Nobody 1
North Wind 1
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 1
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Roc 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Siegfried 1
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 1
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
Vulcan 1
Watson, John H 1
Whittington, Richard 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Kid Vs. The Phantom Stranger?!?

From Kid Eternity #10 (1948)

4 comments:

  1. Quite a lot of research here! Oh, just for the record, he "stayed up to date", not "staid". Oh, well, we can blame that on Auto-Correct, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. John--One of the best things about doing this feature is learning about obscure historical/folklore figures. It makes you wonder whom among our canon of "everybody knows who this was" will be forgotten 70 years from now...

    And no, I can't blame "staid" on auto-correct. Just a bad brain for homophones and lousy editing...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just a couple of observations, not so much about this story as about Kid Eternity and Golden Age comics in general:

    - Kid knows a lot of boxers!

    - and if a woman is shown smoking in a Golden Age story, you might as well stamp "EVIL" on her forehead.

    ReplyDelete
  4. George--As I've mentioned before, it goes to show how powerful a cultural phenomenon boxing was back in the day. Not anymore, for many different reasons (except, of course, Hollywood movies). Perhaps 2040 Kid Eternity stories will feature him summoning MMA fighters, or WWE wrestlers?

    ReplyDelete