Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Jurassic World 0!!

Joe Simon and Jack Kirby invented Jurassic Park.

OK, perhaps not literally. There is, after all, lots of prior literary precedent for "modern man encounters dinosaurs" stories before this tale.

But more than a year before Michael Crichton was born, Joe & Jack gave us a tale of a foolish capitalist bringing dinosaurs to the modern world, and surprise, surprise, they run amok.

We start with Barney Bailey's circus (get it? GET IT?!?):

So, how did this happen?



Well, its no more unlikely than extracting dinosaur DNA from the digestive tracts of amber-trapped mosquitoes.

But Bailey is not in this for the science:


This is the point where we need Jeff Goldblum to intone about chaos and life finding a way...

I don't know, I can imagine an awful lot of money, dude...

But of course, a thunderstorm rolls in, and those unbreakable cages turn out to not be all that unbreakable:

And so...


BEST. CIRCUS EVER.

Of course, this circus just happens to be in the heart of a major city, so...

Fortunately, extra-dimensional lawman The Vision is on the case!





HELL YES!!!!!

Of course, since this is a Jurassic Park story, our awful businessman must get his just desserts...


Or, rather, he becomes dessert for the dinosaur!!

Fortunately, Vision has more dynamite to aid the beast's digestion!


YESSSSSSS!!!!!!

Look, you can have your Stephen Spielberg-directed CGI fests, you can have Star Lord training raptors.

But me, I'm happy with Jack Kirby drawing aliens blowing the crap out of dinosaurs with dynamite.

From Marvel Mystery Comics #16 (1941)

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