Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Dial E Foe Eternity--Kid Vs. Kang!!

It's time for a time-traveling tale of trauma and triumph!

Up in Eternity, Father Time is acting up again...

See, something is making his "time machine" buzz incessantly, so of course he overreacts...


Sure, blame the mere mortals!

Kid goes down to Earth to investigate, and finds...
 

Well, he sounds like a real dickweed!

Wait wait WAIT!! If you're going to execute a guy for using his inventions for evil, DON'T ALLOW HIM TO KEEP WORKING ON INVENTIONS WHILE HE AWAITS EXECUTION!!!! Jiminy Cricket, but that's stupid!!

Kid confronts Marko...


Really, Doctor, it wasn't that hard to figure out!

Whom does the Kid call?

Achilles!! Welcome back--it's your second call-up!

Of course, there is a sizable drawback to summoning a hero with the second most famous vulnerability in history...


D'oh!!

Don't worry, kiddies--this is far from the last appearance of Achilles--and far the last time he'll suffer the exact same fate! Get some boots, dude!

Marko snatches Kid, and takes him on a time trip...


Kid, you yourself have traveled in time!! Plus, you knew he was building a time machine to escape in!! Why is this suddenly "impossible"??

Marko has a very specific plan...

"Thanks for the compliment," says America!

OK, not the worst plan as insane time-traveling villain plans go...

Yeah, yeah, tell it to the Time Lords...

But the time-travel itself is clearly NOT impossible:

So Marko proceeds to scare the crap out of the superstitious sailors, fomenting mutiny!


Columbus stands athwart the mutiny, but he's gonna need help!

Bob Fitzimmons is another one of those darned "famous" boxers of the past that the Kid keeps calling...but before we can put him on the summoning tote board...

DENIED!

Of course--Kid can summon people from the past, but he's further in the past now, so people from post-1492 can't be called!! Damned technicalities!!

Still, that leaves an awful lot of history available to Kid:

Leif Ericson!

Now, these superstitious sailors aren't about to accept the word of some mangy Viking who appears in their midst...

...but Leif can be very convincing!!

Well, Marko has seen enough...he sucker-punches Kid and leaves him behind!!

Fortunately, Marko doesn't know that Kid Eternity has the power to travel through time all on his own!!

OK, that's a pretty specific (and lucky) guess, Kid!

It's about time for the most famous ride in history!

As the Brits set up an ambush...

Hey, it's Paul Revere!!

Paul is much more trusting of strangers than Columbus' crew!!

But...

Last time we learned that animals--at least some--go to Eternity when they die. Now, we have confirmation that KID ETERNITY CAN SUMMON ANIMALS!!!

So, it's full speed ahead for my Kid Eternity-Legion Of Super-Pets team-up!!

Kid trips the ambush, instead of Revere...


Crispus Attucks!!

But...but...

...you've drawn/colored him as a white man!! Boo!!! That's the second time you've white-washed ethnic characters!! Stop that--bad Kid Eternity!!

Anyway, they finally capture Marko...




YOW!! And take him back to his death!!

After Keeper sends the "time globe" into the future to be found by Brainiac-5, we get some philosophizing...

MIND. BLOWN.

After 22 stories, here are the standings:

Achilles 2
Antony, Marc 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Pirates Vs. the modern U.S. Navy!!

From Kid Eternity #2 (1946)

No comments:

Post a Comment