Monday, January 16, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Hidden Benefits of Secret Identites!!

In these modern times, the very concept of secret identities have been called in to question. Why have them? Would they even work? Are they ethical?

But most people forget the single most important reason for heroes to have a secret identity: a masochistic desire to have the woman you love insult you to your face, again and again and again:

Oh, snap.

The gentleman (who yes, is indeed a man) is Caius Martius Wheeler, a cop from ancient Rome granted limited flying power by the gods, who was put into suspended animation for 2200 years, and re-awoke in 1940 to fight crime as The Dart.

His secret identity is a teacher of ancient Roman history, and the lady of his desire is fellow teacher Miss Tilbury. Yet she never, ever passes up an opportunity to tell both the Dart and Caius how little she thinks of the teacher:

I'm not even sure why the Dart has a secret identity--since he slept for two millennia, it's not as if he has any loved ones to protect in modern day.

Maybe he just likes the abuse?


Man, there's mild mannered, and there's 50 shades of Caius:


Geez. Even Clark Kent would at least report, and get the story in the paper occasionally. Not milquetoasty Caius...he seems to live for the abuse!

Of course, and maybe this is just me, it's hard to see why he's so attracted to someone who has absolutely no respect for him...

I guess he just needs the eggs.

So that's one solid reason for keeping a secret identity--so the woman you love can continually degrade you to your face!!

From Weird Comics #9-13 (1940-1941)

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