Do you know whom I really, really hate?
I hate the Silver Surfer with a blinding passion.
I despise Norrin Radd with the power of a million exploding suns. The pompous, self-centered, hypocritical whiny portentiousness of the former herald makes me want to slap him every time a see a story with him. Like the clueless hipster who moves to a new neighborhood and instantly starts to complain about everything there, Surfer's "No, Galactus, you must spare Earth because they're wonderful--wait, now that I'm exiled here everything and everyone sucks" act got old decades ago.
So, for Friday Night Fights, let's watch somebody stand up to the solipsistic ninny.
Someone like Spider-Man.
What, you say? The webhead has no chance?
Well, he did beat the crap out of Firelord once. Then again, Firelord is kind of the Star Trek V of Galactus' heralds, so...
(OK...Surfer is the Star Trek The Motion Picture of heralds; Terrax is the Star Trek II, Gabriel was the Star Trek III, Frankie Ray was the Star Trek IV, Morg was the Star Trek VI, and Stardust was the Star Trek Generations. I think I deserve a No-Prize for that...)
Anyhow, the Silver Surfer is on a rampage through Manhattan, blowing up buildings and stuff, because humanity sucks. (He's really under the influence of Psycho-Man...likely excuse).
The Avengers and FF are out of town, so it's up to Spider-Man to chill his ass out:
Ouch!!
Yes!! YES!!!!
Hahahahahah!!! Yes!!!!
Go, Spidey!! GO!!!!!
OMG YES!!!
PREACH IT, SPIDEY!! KICK HIS ARSE!!!!!
Uh-oh.
Aw, well, I guess it was too good to be true.
Spacebooger thinks that I should include The Destroyer in my herald/movie list. Fine, as he was just a hollow shell echoing Galactus' glory, Destroyer is Star Trek Into Darkness.
Spider-Man does not give up in Webspinners: Tales Of Spider-Man #4 (1999), by Eric Stephenson, Keith Giffen and Andy Smith
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Every vote I get will depress Norrin Radd even more than usual! And we all want that!! So go vote!!
Keith Giffen!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's true, the Silver Sutter IS a pretentious bore!
ReplyDeleteGah! I can't spell! I meant Surfer.
ReplyDelete