Why It's A Good Thing That FiveThirtyEight.Com Doesn't Exist In The Marvel Universe!

Rumors, there's always rumors...

Well, geez, Happy Hogan, I wouldn't worry about a few rumors.

As long as no one is doing "data-driven journalism," Tony's secret is pretty safe...

Uh-oh.

Survey? You mean you went out and actually asked people? That's nowhere near as much fun as just printing rumor and innuendo!!

Damn, you're going to put newspapers out of business (not to mention reveal every damned secret identity out there)!!

The future of journalism predicted by Tales of Suspense #84 (1966)