Young secretary Kim Garland has decided to leave her job, and spend her life saving on a cruise to Europe, because Romance Comic!!
Well, it turns out that this cruise ship has an interesting tradition:
Isn't that special?
Kim's biggest competition is her cabin-mate, Cynthia Carter, who will stop at nothing to win this highly-coveted honor!
There's a swimming competition (Kim wins!). There's a talent show--Cynthia destroys Kim's dress and knocks her out, causing her to give a poor performance! Cynthia wins!
Which means it all comes down to...the Beauty Contest!!
Oh, my, that must be some bikini!! I can't wait until the next panel shows it!
Wait--what? You're not going to show a girl in a bikini? You can show one piece bathing suits, not two? You can have characters drooling over how hot she is, but you can't actually show us how hot she is??
This was perhaps the biggest rip-off in comic book history.
Oh, yeah, Cynthia won on points, but Kim saved a little girl from drowning, so the Captain used his power "to ignore the point total if he feels one girl is worth more than the others." And in the world of 1963 Dell romance comics, saving a child is worth more than the hottest bikini that we will never see.
From Private Secretary #2 (1963)
Stupid victorian morality!
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