The True History Of The Future, According To The Guardians Of The Galaxy!

Before we all go gushy over these new-fangled imposter Guardians Of The Galaxy, perhaps we should recall the history of Earth's future, as relayed to us by Vance Astrovik--who's from the future, so he would know!!

It's true!!! I remember the Skin Cancer Epidemic Of 1982!! And it was still worth it to keep my aerosol deodorant!!

Hey, I was proud of my mechanical limbs!!

I remember tearing up at The First Manned Interstellar Space Launch Of 1988...one giant leap for mankind!

Oh, geez, don't get me started on The Bionics Wars Of The 1990s!! It made my commute hell for weeks!!

NOOOOOO, not dear, sweet, innocent Canada!!!

Ah, the Formation Of The Confederation Of Nations Of 1995--most of you were too distracted by the O.J. Simpson trial to pay attention, but I remember it vividly!

Yeah, 2001 kinda sucked. The Martian Invasion put a damper the celebration of our futuristic architecture!!

So remember--if this so-called GOTG movie doesn't tell you about those things, than they're cheap imitations!!

100% true future history from Defenders #26 (1975)