Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep!!: March 2014

Monday, March 31, 2014

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Great Moments In Inventing!

Gold Key comic books always had these wonderful/awful feature pages to fill out their issues--bad jokes & riddles reader sent in, fan art, "informational" bits.

And then there was this:

And the best invention sent in this month?

Automatic Wink-A-Dork Tiscillator?

Man, if poor Mike Cosler had had that idea 45 years later and threw the word "cloud" in there somewhere, he could have had an IPO for several billion dollars...

From Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea #15 (1969)

Manic Monday Bonus--When A 30-Ton Tank Isn't Enough...

Not that I dare to quibble with a 1970s supernatural war anthology title...

...but they needed to work a little harder on their captions...

...because you don't need a supernatural element to make a 30-ton tank "death." Even in the muggle war world, a 30-ton tank will kill you just fine.

It's a pretty lame cover blurb, is what I'm saying.

War Is Hell #10 is from 1974

Manic Monday--Meet The New New Mutants!! Or, Days Of Past Future

Because the Quarter Bin compels us to remember the past, here are some pin-ups from the back of New Mutants Annual #6 (1990):

AAAIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

And...

Double AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

It's like watching the 1990s being born right before your eyes...

Sunday, March 30, 2014

The Kid Who Liked TANG® Way Too Much

Want to be really cool at school?

This may not be the way to do it...

There's liking TANG®, and liking TANG® just a little bit too much...and then there's full-fledged TANG® cosplay that might get you beat up at school.

Let's look at all the exciting TANG®wear you could get...

Ah, the 1980s, when they still thought digital pocketwatches were cool...and a "unique push-button phone with cord"? Future-proof!

Uh, "super-bonus"? LASER CHALLENGE isn't much of a "game of the future" if it only includes 1 light gun and 1 vest. More "Laser Solitaire" than "Laser Tag"...

And although the top of the ad suggersted that you could get this stuff just for "collecting labels," well, you need some serious cash, too:

And remember, you can't just call it TANG®...

It's TANG Brand Breakfast Beverage Crystals. Mmmm, sounds so much yummier that way.

Ad from Archie #349 (1987)

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Spoiler Saturday--How To Make Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Look Good In Comparison

Not to pick on my Canadian friends...

...but it's not like you guys have taxpayer-funded robots running amok in your cities, right?

Advantage: Toronto.

Still...

...I suspect that JJJ may have to hit the crack pipe after this...

From Superior Spider-Man #30

Friday, March 28, 2014

Friday Night Fights--Who Traps The Trapster Style!!

Sometimes the best way to lose a fight is just to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

That's the moral of this week's Friday Night Fights, as our dear friend the Trapster learns the hard way.

As part of the "Acts Of Vengeance," Trapster has been sent to kill Spider-Man. And he does beat him--handily--by catching him in a...well, a trap.

But Spidey escapes, and well, wouldn't you know, it's just exactly when his "Cosmic Powers" have just started to kick in. So Round II is going to go a little bit differently...

Oh, Paste-Pot...

Spacebooger still wants to know why Trapster didn't just patent his super-paste and the super-solvent he invented and become a millionaire instead of a 12-time loser...

Pete gets pasted in Spectacular Spider-Man #158 (1989), by Gerry Conway, Sal Buscema and Mike Esposito.

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? No reason--just go vote!!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Bold Fashion Choices--Archie's Modern Art Fashions!!

When you ask fans to design Archie's fashions...

This is what you get:

Insert obligatory quip about "not getting" modern art, or "your kid could design that."

Still, the trench coat look does give me hope for the eventual arrival of an Archie/Hellblazer team-up...

From Archie #343 (1987)