Saturday, May 11, 2013

Superman? Horsefeathers--Here's Who REALLY Should Have Fought Ali!!

You all recall, of course, one of the most important comics ever published:

But if you've actually read it, as opposed to just admiring it from afar, you know that Superman was a terrible choice to fight Muhammad Ali. Boxing under a red sun, Kal-El got his ass kicked pretty damn hard. It was not even close to a contest.

So whom should have been matched up against Ali?

Glad you asked. Let's turn for guidance to the letter column of World's Finest #185 (1969):

Yeah, DC, what do you say to that?!?

See? Robin (Dick Grayson, fools, not one of the later copycats) had "enough power to kayo a heavyweight." And Batman taught him the science of boxing!!

It seems crystal clear, then, that Superman, who turned into a chump without his powers, had no business being in the ring with Muhammad Ali. No, it's clear and obvious that the one, true, original Robin should have been the one to step into the ring with Ali, and knock him--

Oh.

Never mind.

Well, what about the man who taught Robin how to box? Surely Batman could hold his own against anyone in the ring, even Ali!! We all know that Batman is unbeatable, and--

Oh.

Never mind again.

Hmm, well, given that Ted Grant was on Earth-2 in those days, I guess we can only conclude...

...that no one was going to beat Ali. That's why he was The Greatest!
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3 comments:

  1. ComicsfanMay 11, 2013 at 11:29 AM

    Wait. Let's go back to the startling assertion that toddlers are capable of being trained athletes.

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  2. snellMay 11, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    It was the circus, bro. Those cats roll differently...

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  3. SmurfswackerMay 11, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    The truth is, Superman was spoiled by having super-powers and never bothered to learn how to handle himself in an old-fashioned earth-style punch out. You'd think that back in the days when any crook could buy colored Kryptonite off a taco truck that Supes would have taken a few kung-fu classes just in case, but the big guy was a wee bit too complacent.

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