Thor--The Original!!

You know who the greatest hero of all time was, right?

That's right--THOR!!

No, not the Lee/Kirby rip-off--the original, who debuted in Weird Comics #1 (1940)!!

[BTW, as Golden Age logos go, that one is pretty rad...]

Our origin?

Thor, the God Of Thunder, is real...and far more awesome than that dude with hippie hair!

Yes, he can break lightning bolts!! Top that, Goldilocks!!

Of course, some things are the same...

And, seeing that "there is a need on Earth for his powers," and being too damn busy wassailing and wenching to do it himself, Thor comes up with a plan:

Fun fact: In the Golden Age, 5/6ths naked men can appear in your bedroom, and you're totally cool with it!

So Grant gets Thor's powers, which includes another one far cooler than anything winged-helmet-head could do:

Yes, he could ride lightning bolts!!!

Also? He had torso-twisting powers beyond mere human anatomy:

Was artist Pierce Rice the Golden Age Ed Benes? I report, you decide...

Thor takes out tanks, and routs an unnamed evil European army:

And than goes back to report to the boss at the orgy celebration:

Final report card?

Hot digetty!!!

Tune in later today for the most awesome Thor stunt EVER!!