Wednesday, October 3, 2012

You'd Think Proctor & Gamble Would be Marketing This...

The best part of being Lex Luthor is, you can make up any damn nonsensical malarkey you like and call it "science."

The worst part of being Lex Luthor? Being too dumb to actually get rich with your scientific discoveries.

For example, Lex is serving out his life sentence, but he's especially overjoyed to get breakfast this morning. Let's watch...



No one could guess "Luthor's amazing scheme," because it has nothing to do with the physical properties of reality as we know it...


wreeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yes, THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!

Take mouthwash, orange juice, aspirin, and two parts of a radio, stand in front of a loud horn, and you're invisible!!

If fairness, only Luthor knows the crucial details--pulp, or no pulp? Buffered aspirin, or not? Minty, or Listerine?

Still, once again, we're left with the conundrum, "Why be a crook when you could just patent this shit and make a squajillion dollars?"

But instead of marketing his incredibly cheap and easy invisibility potion--and what would various governments pay for that little gem?--this is how he chooses to make his living (and what he was in prison for):

Oh, Lex...You could spend $1.59 at Walgreens for all the ingredients to a highly-marketable invisibility potion, or you can spend $28 bajillion on "giant sun spheres" that have to cost far more than you could ever "rob."

Alls I'm saying is, maybe you need to ad an MBA to your list of evil degrees...

From Action Comics #355 (1967)

3 comments:

  1. Ever read Miracle Monday? I think Luthor escapes prison by eating organic and learning how to teleport himself. Yeah.

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  2. Luthor could make an invisibility formula out of mouthwash, or a time machine out of tin foil and a cracked mirror. But he couldn't invent a cure for baldness.

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  3. This is why the only henchmen he could scrounge up in Superman: The Movie were an idiot and an ex-stripper.

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