Friday Night Fights--Once Lame, Always Lame Style!!

So, we're supposed to take Aquaman seriously now. Can't treat him as a joke anymore. He's ultra-cool and ultra-powerful and ultra-badass.

Well, here at Slay Monstrobot, we aren't having any of that.

Let's travel back to 1994, the last time they tried to make Aquaman an ultra-badass.

Arthur and friends are trying to push their way into the U.S. naval base at Pearl Harbor, so he can have words with an admiral. And the big tough hero is pushing around some innocent sailors:

Fortunately, at the time Hawaii happened to be the home base for...











Now that is more like it.

In fairness, "three hours" later, Aquaman comes back, has some blue whales cause a tidal wave (because, DC Science!), and with the help of Aqualad and Dolphin and a tsunami, fights Superboy to a standstill.

Totally cheating, in other words. And yet, even cheating, even with 42 allies, Aquaman can only fight a half-powered clone of Superman to a draw. In Aquaman's own book!

Loser.

Spacebooger prefers his Aquaman clean-shaven, thank you.

Peter David, Gene Gonzales & Martin Egeland (pencils) and Howard M. Shum (inks) never explain how a tsunami hitting Pearl Harbor wouldn't kill a ton of innocent bystanders in Aquaman #3 (1994).

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because, admit it--watching a supposedly tough Aquaman get smacked down fills your heart with glee.