Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday Night Fights--Suicide ISN'T Painless Style!!

As another Friday Night Fights rolls around, I'm going to indulge myself.

There are certain characters I hate to death. And this week, one of those is going to get the crap beat out of him.

Second only to the Silver Surfer in times of being a whiny, selfish douche, the High Evolutionary has always needed to be taken down 3 or 4 pegs.

He's just discovered a race of well-nigh omnipotent beings called The Beyonders. His reaction?

Dude, you suck.

The pity party gets so bad, he decides to kill himself. But his armored is programmed to keep him alive, no matter what.

So he skedaddles over to Earth, and devolves all of Bruce Banner's friends into monkeys, so Banner will get mad, transform into the Hulk, and beat the living crap out him.

That's a plan I can live with:







SPOILER ALERT: It didn't last, sadly.

Spacebooger is getting out his Devo records right now, I warrant...

The High Evolutionary's "Are we not men?" moment came courtesy of Mark Gruenwald, Ron Lim & Tony Dezuniga in Avengers Annual #17 (1992), which retold the events of Incredible Hulk #266 (1981).

Now, I think you know why you have to vote for me. Because Marvel is overdue to trot out the High Evolutionary again, in a wonderfully charming "I'm superior to all of you, don't you feel sorry for me you miserable unenlightened idiots" story. The only way to stop that--VOTE!!

1 comment:

  1. I always wondered why the High Evolutionary had a carrying handle on his head.

    That's why I got thrown out of the really good schools.

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