Lana Lang, Dinosaur Whisperer!!

As we witnessed last week, Lana Lang saw through a time-viewing machine that in the future, Lois Lane will be Superman's girlfriend. Well, that doesn't sit well with the possessive and manipulative small-town girl, so Lana stalked young Lois to her hometown high school. Her mission: prevent Lois from becoming a reporter, so she'll never go to Metropolis and meet Superman!! Yeah, that's not creepy at all...

Her first attempt was an utter failure, but Lana "doesn't give up easily," as another opportunity presents itself...

Now, most telepathy tests are just simple objects, like circles and squares, presumably on the theory that simple concepts are easier to transmit over the ether. None of that for Dr. Manning, though--he's going for complex figures and complicated names. Why?? Because dinosaurs are cool, bro.

So, of course, Lana decides this is her (latest) big chance:


Now you might think this is a pretty silly plan (and it is), but you forget one crucial element:


Young Lois Lane is so stupid that she can't tell the difference between a voice emanating from her desk and one that's supposed to be inside her head. Maybe she believes your "inner voice" sounds like it's coming from your elbow...

Well, even though it looks like gullible Lois will be tricked into a career of science, Lana has once again run into The Iron Law Of The Silver Age: you cannot change history. And so, at the same time, Superboy is meeting a scientist and a shadowy president at the White House:

So, the obvious plan for testing a explosive too dangerous to be tested on Earth?

That's right, throw it into the sun!! What's the risk? Man, it's a wonder the DC Universe survived the Silver Age...

Ah, but the results of that little test:



D'oh!! Foiled again, Lana.

Don't worry, kids, Lana won't give up her scheme to ruin the future happiness of someone she's never even met just to secure a relationship with a guy who doesn't even like her that much right now and probably wouldn't in the future, either. Tune in soon for Lana Lang: Patron of The Arts!!

Postscript: that dangerous new explosive Superboy tested?

Oh, great, you helped create the atom bomb. Well played, Boy Of Steel--the world thanks you for the next several decades of mortal dread!

From Superboy #90 (1961), as reprinted in Superboy #165 (1970).