Sunday, October 24, 2010

Strange Sports Stories

No, not DC's Strange Sports Stories, but Marvel's. More specifically, synergy in action.

You see, the Disney-owned ESPN The Magazine "asked" Disney-owned Marvel Comics to have their artists do some Marvel superhero themed "covers" for each NBA team, as part of their fall basketball preview issue.

And it's really good to know that while Joe Quesada cannot bring himself to draw quickly enough to publish the comics he draws--such as One More Day or One Moment In Time--without lengthy delays, he can sure whip off huge cover drawings for his corporate masters on deadline. I guess it just goes to show that, in the current Marvel hierarchy, Kobe is more important than Spider-Man.

But enough grousing. It's actually a pretty cool idea, must of it is fun, and I'd love to see it done for other sports (and I'd love to see some DC characters and artists brought in, but that's pretty unlikely.

Here's a few of them I have a snarky comment or two on, as I whip out some sports fu. (click to embiggen the images):

Art by Kyle Baker. Uhhh, did anybody bother to fill in Mark Cuban about Hank Pym's history before he agreed to this? I mean, if I were a multi-billionaire team owner, I might have qualms about being portrayed as a wife-beating frequently-insane joke of a scientist. Than again, given the way his Mavericks always shrink in the playoffs, maybe Ant-Man is appropriate...

Art by J. Scott Campbell. See, this is one reason I hate the NBA. Rather than enjoy what they have in front of them, the fans and the media usually choose instead to focus relentlessly of what might happen 9 months from now, endlessly debating hypothetical personnel moves that may never actually happen. Rather than sit back and enjoy one more year of getting to watch this star play for Denver, the focus is already on "Oh my god Carmelo is probably leaving in July, how can we possibly enjoy a game in October with this knowledge weighing on us?"

Which makes the choice of an angsty X-Men cover to pastiche particularly appropriate. I suppose we can just be grateful they didn't choose Days Of Future Past...

Art by Kalman Andrasofszky. Man, this would so make me a fan of the Bucks if it were really their line-up.

Hey, NBA, EA Sports and Marvel--there's my million dollar idea--an NBA Jam type game, except instead of NBA stars, you fill it with comics books characters hooping it up!!

I'll expect those royalty checks to start rolling in any day now...

Art by Alex Maleev. The idea of Michael Jordan as Nick Fury has just made my tiny little mind explode. Now if only they had decided to come up with what the initials B.O.B.C.A.T.S. actually stood for, I'd give them real props...

Art by Gerald Parel. Another case of perhaps not telling your subject the full story of the guy you're presenting him as. Sure, new New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is a Russian billionaire whom people expect to make a huge impact on the league. But the devourer of worlds, ender of life as we know it? Those billions didn't bring in any big free agent talent...Besides, come on, guys, Galactus wouldn't be fronting no 12-70 team...

Art by Sean Chen & Mark Morales. Really? The Pistons as a bunch of Doombots?? I mean, a Victor Von Doom-created team would sure as heck play a lot better (until they met the Globetrotters...) than this crew does. This would have been much more appropriate to the "Bad Boys" days.

Still, in my head I can hear The Palace announcer introducing "Joooooeeee Doooooommmmars" every night...

Art by John Romita and Tom Palmer. Checkmate, you young turks. Great image, best of the bunch.

Still, this is a good opportunity to give a message to (most) Cleveland fans: Dudes, you're not the only team to have ever lost a player. Man up already. I'm just sayin'...(Sorry, Spacebooger).

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