Look, Kids--The Heroic Age!!

When you see a banner like this on the cover:

You know you're going to get amazing acts of heroism like this on the inside:



Yes, at least when Bendis is writing, heroic="cowering inside a deli while Thor does all the work outside." Heroic=arguing about when you met, or "clever quipping" about cliches, while New Yorkers are dying outside.

And I mean--Killraven, for heaven's sake--his raison d'etre is fighting Martians, going up against those awful tripods. And now that he's got some actual super-heroes with him, he's content with "let's hide and shoot the breeze with Spider-Man."

Sigh.

Bendis aside, am I allowed to point out that there hasn't been all that much heroic about The Heroic Age so far?

Obviously, a big part of that is the continuing splintering of Marvel into self-contained Balkanized camps who, outside of spin-off mini-series, never ever seem to even be taking place in the same universe. Quick, name one impact that we've seen in a regular Marvel mag of World War Hulks, or any of the recent X-Men business...just one...

But even within the titles bearing The Heroic Age banner...has their been anything particularly heroic going on? The New Avengers and the Adjectiveless Avengers are both still in the midst of their initial and ridiculously padded storylines where they're merely responding to being attacked. The Fantastic Four is pretty much doing the same stuff they did under Hickman before the banner was slapped on their cover. Avengers Academy isn't much different than the stories we had with Avengers: Initiative. The short stories we've had in The Age Of Heroes mini, while entertaining, haven't been anything to make you sit up and go, "Wow, that was heroic!!" It feels more like leftovers from inventory stories that were just laying around.

Not that I object to Marvel not having a particular theme going for the first time in half a decade...but if you're going to throw that banner on your covers, shouldn't it actually mean something? Because so far we haven't seen anything that resonates as particularly heroic.

I can imagine how the conversations went at the Marvel offices:

JQ: Well, after Civil War, The Initiative, Secret Invasion, Dark Reign, and The Siege, what's next?

BMB: Well, we don't particularly have anything, boss.

JQ: Well, we have to have something!

FVL: Why?

JQ: How can we get the suckers readers to buy these books without a brand slapped on 'em? How can we market the trade paperbacks--"come read a bunch of unrelated stories?!?" No, we need a theme, a brand.

TB: Everyone's kind of burned out on events, boss.

JQ: I don't care if it's an actual event...we just need a marketing name so people think it's an event.

BMB: Will that work??

JQ: Works for Spider-Man...we're still calling it "Brand New Day" two years later, right?

GP: Hey, I know...let's call it "The Heroic Age."

BMB: Great, that means I have to make my characters act all heroic and stuff, right?

GP: No, that's the beauty part--we're already publishing magazines about heroes. We don't have to do anything--by definition, it's already "Heroic!"

JQ: An event where nothing different actually goes on...just a banner with literally no meaning, but still an obvious sales incentive to saps retailers and customers--I LOVE IT!!

JP: Hey, could we re-launch my pet book with that banner on it?? I just know that will save Agents of Atlas!!

JQ: Sure kid, whatever you say. Keep on dreaming....