Marvel 1995 Week--Silver Surfer #106!!

Good lord, I hate the living heck out of this cover.

Oh, there's nothing wrong with the cover itself--Tom Grindberg did a nice enough job. And it's nothing against the Silver Surfer...well, actually, I do have something against the Surfer, but that's not why I hate this cover.

Nope, it's just that I really really really REALLY hate covers that are spoilers for what is supposed to be a last minute reveal. See, that part where the captions tell you that the Surfer has freed himself of the burdens of cosmic power?? Well, that's what really happens in the very last panel, as we'll see. And it's something that the Surfer spends the entire issue debating and opining about. So, we have to spend an entire issue watching Whiny McWhineWhine struggle with this "difficult" decision, but we already know the outcome. So what is the point of the issue?

Then, of course, there's Doctor Doom. Look, they spend the entire issue trying (none-too-cleverly) to conceal the fact that this "mystery" guy is Doom. It's not "revealed" until the very last panel!! So why would you blow it buy telegraphing on the cover, in big capital letters, "IT IS DOOM, DUMMIES!!"

Seriously, why blow the reveal on the cover what's the point? If the reader has read ANY Marvel comics whatsoever, he'll recognize that that's Doom--so there's no point in being coy. You might as well put Doom full figure on the cover, and not make it a mystery. But, if the reader is not familiar with Marvel, and doesn't recognize the armor and green skirt, well, then the cover really does nothing to attract him, does it?!?

Of course, this far from the only comic that has pulled such a bonehead move. But it is the one in front of me right now, so grrrrr...

Anyway, the scoop is, Norrin Radd has been much, much whinier than usual lately (as if that's possible). He thinks that he misused his power to kill Mephisto (SPOILER ALERT: It was a trick by Mephisto. Duh). He went home to Zenn-La, and found Shalla-Bal shacked up with his half-brother. He tried to fix up the biosphere of a dying planet, but oops--he accidentally destroyed it!! He was attacked by the Super-Skrull, and the Surfer almost killed him!!

So Surfer Dude came to the obvious conclusion that he can no longer be trusted with his powers, so he went to Galactus to get them removed. Galactus told him to grow a pair and move along. So, Radd has been moping around, pitying himself for his freedom and godlike powers. It's a rough life.

So, he comes upon a struggling planet...

Oh, yeah, this story is courtesy of:

Yes, the same Tom Grinberg who drew the story drew the spoiler-riffic cover. Sigh...

Well, this planet is in anarchy mode:

And these peeps ain't respecting the Surfer's oh-so-painful sensitivity:

So he goes into angry-3-year-old mode:

But Norrin can't win--he can't force everybody to cooperate for survival, he can't move them all off-planet, and he's afraid to use his powers to their maximum effect to fix things. So, what to do?

Wait for a ship from Earth to arrive!! And the mysterious telepathic voice that offers to save everybody--for a price!!




Gee, that doesn't look anything like Doom. Not at all. Nope--keep the mystery going, guys, just in case I'm reading this issue without having looked at the cover!! (Oh, by the way, Doom is supposedly dead right now, so that's what the Surfer means when he's all "word has it...")

So Doom cajoles and cajoles, nags and nudges. The Surfer ponders and broods, ponders and broods...


Guys, trust me--there were pages and pages of this. You can thank me later for editing this down so much.

Anyway, thanks to our cover, we already know the decision:


Gee, whoever could that dude be??

Let's take a look at just what an asshole the Surfer is here. Unlike the audience (wink, nudge) he realizes that this is Victor Von Doom. He knows what a force for evil the man is. Doom has lied to him, twice before; twice stolen the Power Cosmic, and twice tried to use it for really, really evil things.

Yet, Norrin Radd, who supposedly cares so much about intelligent life and stamping out injustice, is so solipsistic, is so much more concerned with how "awful" his life is than helping those around him...Norrin Radd is such a narcissistic idiot that he willingly gives planet-shattering power to Victor Von Doom just so he'll feel better about himself.

So yeah, I really don't like the character very much.

Hey, and guess what?!? There's absolutely no way you could have known this ahead of time...but the process worked!!


What, we already knew this big surprise at the end? How??? Oh, yeah, that damned cover. Oh, how I hate you, cover!!

Anyway, by page two of the next issue Doom betrays the Surfer by actually destroying the planet in question ("I only said I would end their suffering, and they're no longer suffering!!" Seriously.). The villain turns out to actually be a special Doombot that Doom launched into the cosmos to track down the Surfer and steal Prince Gullible's power again. The Power Cosmic gives the Doombot sentience AND drives him mad, so he decides to go kill everyone on Earth (don't ask). It takes a couple of issues, but the Surfer gets his power back and kicks the Doombot's ass. And the he goes back to being Whiny McWhineWhine again. What a putz.

If I may quote the real Doctor Doom from Fantastic Four #156 (1975):

Amen, Victor...amen!!

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

The Silver Surfer should consider himself lucky, because July 1995 was a bad month for Marvel's other "cosmic" titles:


This month saw the final issues of both the current incarnation of The Guardians Of The Galaxy, and Warlock And The Infinity Watch.

Marvel was trying to cut back, and I guess enough people weren't buying these to justify keeping them around. Plus, they didn't involve mutants or Spider-clones, so there's a disadvantage.

It's too bad, because while I do think that (in general) Marvel has the better "cosmic" world than DC, they can't seem to keep it going, with both the latest Guardians and Nova cancelled after 25 issues. Oh, they're still giving Abnett and Lanning some cosmic mini-series to play with, because apparently they make good trades. But continuing series? Not so much, sadly.