Saturday, May 29, 2010

What The #$%^??--Half Empty, Half Full, Or Half On Fire?!?

From Jim Hammond, android superhero of WWII, to Johnny Storm, modern day holder of the title, The Human Torch has always used this phrase to light himself afire:

Wha' the?!?

"Half-Flame On"?!?!?!?!

In Sub-Mariner Comics #35 (1954), some commie ratfinks have captured the Torch and Toro. To prevent them from escaping, they tie them up to some "old ladies"--our heroes can't burn their way out of the ropes without roasting the GILFs:


But those reprobate Reds didn't count on Hammond's special android abilities:

Thoughts:

**Johnny Storm, of course, can "flame on" specific body parts--lighting up just his hand, for example, or having his whole body afire except his arms so he can carry someone. Apparently, Toro has tried to replicate this, but failed. Androids 1, Cosmic rays 1, Mutants 0.

**If the Torch can do that with his back half, there are some high quality fraternity hijinks that leap to mind...

**Does he really have to say "Half-Flame On?" Man, that sounds lame. What if he wants to do just his arm? "Quarter-Flame On?"

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