The Fourth Member--WHO?!?!?!

When last we checked in with the Frightful Four, they finally made a change. Instead of recruiting some unknown for their final spot, they actually went out and recruited a bona fide, card carrying super-villain. And it worked...the actually demolished the Fantastic Four, beating them with little effort.

Of course, they failed, because they were idiots. They A) insisted on attacking Spider-Man first; B) for some reason didn't kill him right away; and C) brought him along to their attack on the Baxter Building, where of course he managed to break free and save the FF's hash.

The lesson they learned, then? Go get revenge on Spider-Man!

Oh, you unlovable losers!!

This brings us to Amazing Spider-Man #213-215 (1981), all by Denny O'Neill, John Romita Jr, and Jim Mooney. And a three-part epic of colossal ineptitude, even for the Frightful Four.

Our splash page ominously warns us what's coming...

So who is going to be the new fourth member? Hmmm...

We start with the mysterious figure breaking the Wizard out of prison:

Meanwhile, Peter Parker has a gorgeous new neighbor, and immediately falls in love with her.

Don't worry, that's not foreshadowing at all...

Anyway, the Wizard has a new device...

Once again--Wizard, why don't you patent some of this stuff and make an honest living?? Anyway, they track down Spider-Man, trap him in a burning building...

WAIT A MINUTE!! I thought you said this was a Frightful Four story, snell!!

We're getting there:

In part 2, Spidey escapes the burning building...while our mysterious new fourth member declares that it's her time for vengeance. They go to free the Trapster and Sandman...


(NOTE to Marvel Prison Authorities--please stop letting super-villains wear their costumes in prison. Thank you.)

...but the escape is witnessed by a conveniently placed Atlantean:

Ah, that explains how Namor gets involved. And explains why Subby busts into the crib of Spidey's new girlfriend (even though he doesn't even know her name yet!!):


So, of course, Spider-Man swoops to her rescue, and much pointless fighting ensues:

And after the two heroes wear themselves out, the Frightful Four arrive in full force--and it's time to reveal the new fourth member!!

WHO?

Llyra, half-breed Lemurian and deadly enemy of the Sub-Mariner!!

WHO?!?

Llyra, who killed Namor's squeeze, Lady Dorma!!

WHO?!?

Llyra, who hadn't been seen in a Marvel mag in nearly 10 years!! Let's just say that, as big a Marvel Zombie as I was back in 1981, even I had no idea who the hell Llyra was...

Still, now we have confirmed the big drawback of my "recruit an established super-villain" plan: the newbie always insists on bringing their own arch-foe into the deal, making the Frightful Four's mission that much harder. Well, that, and completely forgetting about the Fantastic Four to go after Spider-Man...

Still, Wizard has another new toy:



What effect does the magical mystical ray have? We don't know yet. But our heroes are so incapacitated, the idiot members of the Four beat the crap out of them:


Fortunately, a timely SWAT team arrival allows Spider-Man and Namor to escape. But all is not well. Namor has an odd buzzing in his head:


And when Spider-Man goes back to check up on his new, completely not-involved lady friend:



Wizard, WTF?


So that's your master plan, Wizard? Taking Pete's spider sense and giving it to Namor? That's the "fate worse than death?" Really?? I'm not seeing how this one works out for you, Wizard...

Anyway, despite potentially "being driven mad," Namor returns, and rescues Spider-Man. Now, I've already shown you the panels where Subby cleans Sandman's clock...and then Spider-Man show why Wizard's plan was really kinda stupid:

Even without a spider sense, he can still put your head through a wall.

Then, in the battle of the century, it's Sub-Mariner vs. the Trapster--and Namor adds insult to injury:

So, the Wizard's magic new device really didn't come to much, did it?!? But Llyra escapes!! Wherever could she be?!? Hmmmm...

Our heroes visit Reed Richards, who basically snorts in derision at the Wizard's efforts, and fixes our duo. But Parker is certain that Reed has screwed up, because when Spidey goes back to visit his "girlfriend," the spider sense goes wild:



Fortunately, deus ex Namor was still hanging around, and:

So much for another of the Frightful Four's master plans. Hiring an existing super-villain and changing their target didn't really help that much, did it? Maybe it's time to rethink the very idea of the Frightful Four, eh, Wizard?!?

Well, that's exactly what he would do. The Frightful Four wouldn't show up again for another 8 years. But when they did, things would be very, very different...