Friday Night Fights are always difficult during one of my Marvel weeks, because I'm limited by Ape Law to Marvel titles with that month's cover dates...and sometimes, by chance, there's just not a lot of good fights available. Especially this time, as the Fight theme is Villainous Victories...I have to show the bad guy winning.
But there's an actual prize being given out this week, so I'd better dig deep and bring my A-game. Fortunately, there is a cooperative comic this month:
That cover is a pretty accurate representation of what you're going to see. But first, our creators:
The story: Batroc, Machete and Zaran have stolen Cap's shield!! Now Captain America is out to get it back, no matter what. And in this case, the "no matter what" involves making an odd deal with Batroc:
That's right--Cap is going to give Batroc one free shot?!? Zoot allures, this is going to be good. Bring it on, Leaper:
BWAM!!! That, my friends, is a villainous victory!! (More on this issue after the VOTE banner)...
Now, I won three of the 12 rounds of FNF this go-round. But I'm not satisfied, especially since Spacebooger is giving out prizes this time around. Prizes, dammit!! So, loyal reader, head your tails over there, and vote. Hey, if you end up wanting to vote for someone else, well, there's no accounting for taste. But remember--if I win, and I someday rise to a position of great power, well, your votes will be rewarded. I know, unlikely, but think House of M...anything is possible if you don't care about making sense..
Meanwhile, back to Marvel 1985 week...some bullet points about Captain America #303:
**Just in the interest of completeness, it should be revealed that Batroc's "free shot" didn't win the fight...
Woo, Cap!!
**Nomad was a whiny guy...
This goes on and on and on this issue...
**The bad guy responsible for stealing Cap's shield was Obidiah Stane, who we saw being a villain in Iron Man earlier this week. He wanted to try and recreate the material from the shield into an indestructible suit of armor, because that's what villains do.
But the really cool thing about Stane??
His communication terminals have robot claws that hand out wads of cash!!
Eat that, Luthor!!
**A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Latin American walk into a bar...
The international Batroc Brigade consisted, of course, of Batroc, the leaping French master of savate. Zaran, from Master Of Kung Fu, is a master of all combat, unarmed or armed. Hey, the guy could go toe-to-toe with Shang-Chi, so you know he can fight.
And Machete? Sadly, he's not this guy (NSFW!!):
Nope, "our" Machete is just a Latin American mercenary/revolutionary and master of blades. But, man, I would pay big money to watch Danny Trejo fight Captain America...
**Batroc doesn't believe in doors...
You see, after stealing the shield, the trio were sitting around drinking their pay, and a drunken argument ensued, with a wager about whether Batroc could take Cap solo or not.
Well, fighting drunk did confer one advantage:
That's right...Batroc, Drunken Master!! (Come on, you can see the movie now...an aging Jackie Chan teaches alcoholic Jean Reno how to fight, and...)
ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:
This is why I'm pissed that Marvel pulled the DVD-Rom rights away from GITCorp:
Reportedly, they were almost done with the Thor set. Grrrr....
Anyway, Simonson, Simonson, and Simonson. Thor and Odin and Loki vs. Surtur. Odin dies (not the first time, not the last time). What a run....
But there's an actual prize being given out this week, so I'd better dig deep and bring my A-game. Fortunately, there is a cooperative comic this month:
That cover is a pretty accurate representation of what you're going to see. But first, our creators:
The story: Batroc, Machete and Zaran have stolen Cap's shield!! Now Captain America is out to get it back, no matter what. And in this case, the "no matter what" involves making an odd deal with Batroc:
That's right--Cap is going to give Batroc one free shot?!? Zoot allures, this is going to be good. Bring it on, Leaper:
BWAM!!! That, my friends, is a villainous victory!! (More on this issue after the VOTE banner)...Now, I won three of the 12 rounds of FNF this go-round. But I'm not satisfied, especially since Spacebooger is giving out prizes this time around. Prizes, dammit!! So, loyal reader, head your tails over there, and vote. Hey, if you end up wanting to vote for someone else, well, there's no accounting for taste. But remember--if I win, and I someday rise to a position of great power, well, your votes will be rewarded. I know, unlikely, but think House of M...anything is possible if you don't care about making sense..
Meanwhile, back to Marvel 1985 week...some bullet points about Captain America #303:**Just in the interest of completeness, it should be revealed that Batroc's "free shot" didn't win the fight...
Woo, Cap!!**Nomad was a whiny guy...
This goes on and on and on this issue...**The bad guy responsible for stealing Cap's shield was Obidiah Stane, who we saw being a villain in Iron Man earlier this week. He wanted to try and recreate the material from the shield into an indestructible suit of armor, because that's what villains do.
But the really cool thing about Stane??
His communication terminals have robot claws that hand out wads of cash!!Eat that, Luthor!!
**A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Latin American walk into a bar...
The international Batroc Brigade consisted, of course, of Batroc, the leaping French master of savate. Zaran, from Master Of Kung Fu, is a master of all combat, unarmed or armed. Hey, the guy could go toe-to-toe with Shang-Chi, so you know he can fight.And Machete? Sadly, he's not this guy (NSFW!!):
Nope, "our" Machete is just a Latin American mercenary/revolutionary and master of blades. But, man, I would pay big money to watch Danny Trejo fight Captain America...
**Batroc doesn't believe in doors...
You see, after stealing the shield, the trio were sitting around drinking their pay, and a drunken argument ensued, with a wager about whether Batroc could take Cap solo or not.Well, fighting drunk did confer one advantage:
That's right...Batroc, Drunken Master!! (Come on, you can see the movie now...an aging Jackie Chan teaches alcoholic Jean Reno how to fight, and...)ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:
This is why I'm pissed that Marvel pulled the DVD-Rom rights away from GITCorp:
Reportedly, they were almost done with the Thor set. Grrrr....Anyway, Simonson, Simonson, and Simonson. Thor and Odin and Loki vs. Surtur. Odin dies (not the first time, not the last time). What a run....
GREAT series, Snell!
ReplyDeleteYou do a fantastic job of evoking that period in time. We tend to forget that at the same time the "Big Guns" of the mid-80's (Watchmen, Crisis, Dark Knight, Swamp Thing, etc) were pushing us into some rare high-falutin' territory, the average comic book titles were cranking out some wonderfully schlocky guilty pleasures each and every month.
Thanks for reminding us about all of those fun (if forgettable) stories that continue to haunt dollar bins everywhere.
I appreciate the efforts and insights!
My favorite villain ever, and my favorite comics run ever. In the same post!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words, Mark. I love doing these Marvel Weeks, even though it takes a ton of time.
ReplyDeleteAlso worth noting.
ReplyDeleteEl Stanerino is PAYING.
No "Do you have what I want? HAHAHA! Now die!" malarky, just the kind of above board evil businessmaning that gets you friends and influences people.