Let's allow Aquaman to handle this one himself, shall we??
Roy, Roy, my friend's apprentice. Let me tell you a little something. What was that line of yours?
Well, guess what?
I could feel my fingers. So I win. No nice, clean amputation for me, no sir.
Plus, I'm the King of the Freakin' Seas...and my hand was eaten by fish. Talk about embarrassing...that's like if you lost your hand to an arrow, or Zatanna accidentally saying, "ekat ym dnah, esaelp." Humiliating...
Ah, but Roy, there is good news. Once you've finished your 4-issue "journey into despair," you're bound to be treated better than I was. I mean, they tried to make me into a badass...
...but c'mon now--a hook? A stupid harpoon? What am I, a rejected Shang-Chi villain?!? I guarantee you're going to get something much cooler...some kind of prosthetic gun arm or such. Why else would they keep calling you Arsenal? And whatever you get, it's going to be better than a bloody hook...what were they thinking? A harpoon? No wonder fish didn't want to listen to me any more...
Plus, at least you'll know your status. I've been dead/revived/wait, no, not revived/oh yeah revived but now dead/who the hell was that in that really bad issue of JLA/oh, that was an alternate universe me/no, that was a mini-clone-half-brother-mutagenic-serum-what-the-hell...I've been jerked around so much over the past 5 years, even DC's editors don't know (or care) about my status right now. You, you're getting a nice mini-series to sort out your status quo. Me, I'm just rotting in limbo...
Thank you, Aquaman. At least your wife is getting a lot of screen time in Blackest Night...you, not so much. Sorry.
Roy, Roy, my friend's apprentice. Let me tell you a little something. What was that line of yours?
Well, guess what?
I could feel my fingers. So I win. No nice, clean amputation for me, no sir.Plus, I'm the King of the Freakin' Seas...and my hand was eaten by fish. Talk about embarrassing...that's like if you lost your hand to an arrow, or Zatanna accidentally saying, "ekat ym dnah, esaelp." Humiliating...
Ah, but Roy, there is good news. Once you've finished your 4-issue "journey into despair," you're bound to be treated better than I was. I mean, they tried to make me into a badass...
...but c'mon now--a hook? A stupid harpoon? What am I, a rejected Shang-Chi villain?!? I guarantee you're going to get something much cooler...some kind of prosthetic gun arm or such. Why else would they keep calling you Arsenal? And whatever you get, it's going to be better than a bloody hook...what were they thinking? A harpoon? No wonder fish didn't want to listen to me any more...Plus, at least you'll know your status. I've been dead/revived/wait, no, not revived/oh yeah revived but now dead/who the hell was that in that really bad issue of JLA/oh, that was an alternate universe me/no, that was a mini-clone-half-brother-mutagenic-serum-what-the-hell...I've been jerked around so much over the past 5 years, even DC's editors don't know (or care) about my status right now. You, you're getting a nice mini-series to sort out your status quo. Me, I'm just rotting in limbo...
Thank you, Aquaman. At least your wife is getting a lot of screen time in Blackest Night...you, not so much. Sorry.
The idea of a "gun hand" is why I'm skipping this stuff. Oh, Lord...
ReplyDeleteRoy Harper has always been my favorite DC character. In fact, Devin Grayson's treatment of the character first in the "Batman Plus Arsenal" one-shot and then in the "Arsenal" mini and finally in her somewhat disappointing "Titans" series? Reminded me of ... well, me.
But I mean, I'd always liked the character. Those old pre-Wolfman Teen Titans books with Hawk, Dove, Lilith, and Mal? Really good stuff. Plus, I always liked the fact Wolfman connected Harper with Checkmate, a favorite DC series of mine (along with Suicide Squad).
Now, thanks to Robinson, the character is dead to me.
At least Aquaman has Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Last night's episode was a masterpiece, right down to the Superfriends titles.
ReplyDeleteDon't fret, Anonymous...all will revert to normal someday...
ReplyDelete