Saturday, September 12, 2009

Marvel 1964 Week--Fantastic Four #30!!

And so, as Marvel 1964 Week draws to a close, we finish with the World's Greatest Comic Magazine:

As we ask the question:

SPOILER ALERT: No.

We begin with Marvel's First Family, for some unexplained reason, on vacation in Transylvania...and hopelessly lost!!

A hat tip to our creators:

They stumble upon a castle...and are stopped by the local gentry (sadly, no torches or pitchforks are involved).

You know, when THIS guy is telling you someone else is scary, you'd better listen!!


While sleeping in the mayor's estate, Benjamin J. Grimm hears the siren call "Come To Butthead" (or something like that):

Little known fact: The Thing won a Nobel Prize for defining a new unit of force: the Clobber.

Diablo's prison takes only one clobber. Presumably, Dr. Doom's fortress would take at least 4 or 5 Clobbers.

Here's the big idjit himself:

The rest of the FF come looking for Ben, and what do they find?!?

Well, he's not exactly handsome, but he is a durned sight prettier. As a result...


Well, after some tepid fighting, the others skulk off, unsure of what to do. Meanwhile, Diablo starts raking in millions by selling brilliant alchemic potions to the richest people and nations on earth:



And, in a scene blatantly ripped off from Rising Stars:

There's only one problem with Diablo's potions, as Reed defines a new scientific law:

"If the test tube shatters, the potion is evil."

OK, so there was no Nobel for that one. Still, Reed is right...all of Diablo's potions prove temporary at best...

...especially the one he gave to the Thing.


Now, I'm not sure why Ben's so upset...even a temporary cure is better than none, right? But he acts out, and Diablo puts him to sleep.

The FF attack, and for the one and only time EVER, Sue's power to make someone else invisible is actual very useful, and works brilliantly:


Still, the FF are defeated, as Diablo rants.


Uhhh...help me out with a little logic puzzle, friends.

A: Diablo's alchemical effects are never permanent
B: He made these cylinders "escape-proof" with alchemy
Therefore C: It's clobbering time!!

Now watch, as Stan and Jack have a lot of fun with Ben kicking the living crap out of Diablo:







Ben Grimm--one of the greatest comics characters EVER.

Anyway, the Torch seals up the collapsed crypt, so we'll never, EVER see Diablo again. Right?

And the FF??

Come on, Reed, you haven't invented GPS yet??

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL DC UNIVERSE:

OK, I'm outta Marvel titles for September 1964!! There's literally nothing left. So let's see what the Distinguished Competition had out there to counter Marvel's output:

Oh, Silver Age DC, you're so cute...


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