Sunday, May 24, 2009

Golden Age Idol--Madam Fatal!!

As we've surfed the lengths and breadths of obscure Golden age heroes to revive (and make a mint on, because a lot of them are public domain now), we've seen foppish artists, ultra-pseudoscience (and FIRE-APES!!), and...well, Airmale and Stampy.

But we've never seen anything quite like...MADAM FATAL!!!

As we discuss Madam Fatal's pros and cons, let's play a little game...can you, dear reader, guess what Madam Fatal's secret powers are?

We first encounter the Madam in Crack Comics #1 (1940), in a story written and drawn by Art Pinajian.

And your little dog, too!She's just a kindly old neighbor...

I brought an apple for Snow White......who wanders into a gangster flick...

I guess you'll have to sell some organs...But when the toughs show up, Madam Fatal steps up!

A limited supply of sound effects...
Ibid.
I loaded up on Red Bulls at lunch, dearieHmmm, now can you guess Madam Fatal's superpowers, readers?

Madam F heads home, but has no time to help Johnny with his homework...

Ironically, Johnny failed algebra, flunked out of school, and became a vile gangsterNo, Madam Fatal must consult with Hamlet, her Shakespeare quoting parrot:

An early attampt at merchandisingAnyhow, Fatal is ready to confront our crime boss, and comes up with the most cockamamie scheme in the world:

Grand Theft Auto ZeroA) Let yourself get hit by the villain's car, and hope you're not seriously injured, and...

This one's an eater!!B) Hope the villain takes you to his home, rather than to the hospital (or just leaving you to die).

OK, so Madame Fatal's superpower isn't a twelfth-level computer mind. But it's your last chance, reader...can YOU guess Madam Fatal's secret superpower???

Once ensconced in the crime boss' home, we get the big reveal:

Yes? Yes..???
She's a MAN, man!!That's right, Madam Fatal's secret power is...CROSS-DRESSING!!!!!!

Famous stage actor and make-up master Richard Stanton is really Madam Fatal!! But how did this come about?

Please continue, ma'am...uhh, sir:

Better dead, than disgraced, that's what I always sayLet's see...you didn't tell the police, the police got nowhere, and your wife died as a result of a broken heart?!? So, since we're discussing responsibility...are you admitting that your own stupid ego killed your wife, Stanton?!?

This would have been a bitchin' Sopranos plot...Geez...nine years undercover as a woman...and the whole time it was your own stubborn pride. Harsh...especially since you don't realize the irony.

Anyway, there's a struggle, and of course the killer dies exactly one syllable before giving up the important information:

Perhaps he was dictatingSo, after all this, we can stop the cross-dressing?

Well, if I quit, I'd have to buy a whole new wardrobe...OF COURSE NOT!!

That's it, folks...Madam Fatal is an old man who dresses up like an old woman to fight crime. And you thought Airmale was a wuss...

Someone must have liked her, though, as she was a feature performer in Crack Comics for over 2 years.

She was assimilated, along most of the rest of the Quality characters, by the DC Borg Collective, but as far as I can tell her only "appearance" in mainstream DC continuity is a brief reference (ie, "joke") in one issue of JSA. She made a one panel cameo in the Elseworlds "The Golden Age." And that's it.

But think of the possibilities...as much publicity as DC got over the lesbian Batwoman, think how much free ink they could generate with a cross-dressing hero?!? In fact, since we don't know who the new Batgirl is yet...well, what if it was just a guy DRESSED as a girl, and Batgirl was really Richard Stanton?!? And then we have the new Dynamic Duo of a lesbian AND a cross-dresser?!?

OK, it was just an idea. What do you think, Randy?!?

...wow...Hmmm...as per usual, I have no idea what in the world you're trying to say. So, we're going to call this a judge's save...and against all odds, Madam Fatal continues to the next round!!!

Any final thoughts?!?

Finish the quote, bird FINISH IT!!Hahahaha, you silly Shakespeare quoting parrot...

1 comment:

  1. What I love even better is that Madam Fatal is the name he uses as his unassuming civilian identity. One can only wonder what happened when he rented the apartment...
    Landlord: "So your name is ... Madam Fatal?"
    MF: "It's, er, an Hungarian name. Yes, that's the ticket!"

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