Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Once And Future Dickweed

Setting the scene: The lamest villain ever, the Mysterious Mister Doll (snort), is terrorizing New York, somehow getting millionaires to sign their fortunes over to him. The police think that Tony Stark must be next on the list, so they set him up as bait, which means constant surveillance:

...while at the same time publicly humiliating a woman I care for...Well, that just won't do. So Tony Stark, futurist, one of the smartest dudes alive, devices a brilliant plan to escape--which just happens to involve toying with the affections of Pepper Potts, and then crushing her hopes:

Gee, Happy, you sure have a way with the ladies...
Moan loudly Pepper...rave how great I am
No other choice. Keep telling yourself that, dickweedOh, Tony...but you were younger then, right? There's no way you could be so cavalier towards Pepper's feelings today, right?!?

Still hopeful after all these years
Tony recreating his porn star look
After all these years, she's still shocked by Stark's hedonism. How sweet.
And....another soul crushed by cavalier toying with feelings!! Stark's still got it!!!
If you watch in slow motion, you can see the exact oment her heart breaks...The lesson? Once a self-absorbed, inconsiderate, soul-crushing dickweed, always a self-absorbed, inconsiderate, soul-crushing dickweed.

The past: Tales Of Suspense #48 (1963). The present: Invincible Iron Man #8 (2009). The future...?

BONUS: In all his glory, as presented by Lee and Ditko, The Mysterious Mr. Doll!!

Puppet master's lawyers are on line 1, sir
Ok, so they weren't all winners back then...
at

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Thanks for the Tales of Suspense Flashback; I had not seen that one before.

    The recent scene in Invicible Iron Man 8 totally pissed me off. It's like they were doing the Movie Iron Man one panel and the slightly more considerate comic book 80's Stark the next panel.
    What exactly does the writer want us to believe here in Invincible?
    Since no one uses thought ballons much anymore Tony's silence in the last panel is seeminly total proof he's an ass. Had he thought "Oh Pepper I so love you" or stated that the triplets were just a joke maybe it would have went over better.
    As it is this makes Tony seem the asshole Marvel wishes him to be these days.
    He's not even an anti-hero. He's just an asshole who pretends to be a superhero when it suits him.
    and yes, I dropped INVINCIBLE

    ALAN
    JETTBLACKBERRYX@YAHOO.COM

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