Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Secret Ending To Final Crisis--Revealed!!

Not a dream--not a hoax--not an imaginary story!! The final resolution of Final Crisis:

Barry, it's Chinatown!
What is this, the end of Superman II?
That's right...Barry Allen will simply run around the world and kiss every human being, freeing them from the anti-life equation!!

C'mon, he's the freakin' Flash...like he's not fast enough to do that?

(Of course, since Grant Morrison has already re-used this own time travel cliché of having the Flashes accidentally overrun their own time and end up in the future after the bad guys have won, there can be little doubt that the real resolution will be yet another time travel cliché: Since the bullet that killed Orion and precipitated everything was fired from the future, in issue #7 they'll find out who fired it and use the mystery Metron/Anthro/Tattooed Man glyph to prevent it from being fired...so everything will be reset, except for those continuity changes Morrison and DC want to make.

All in all, I'd prefer to have Barry Allen running around kissing everybody...)

Question: Why don't the Flashes hop back in the timestream to before "the day evil won," and, like, warn everybody and help?? Uhh...

Question: If the anti-life equation is "a mathematical proof that Darkseid is the rightful master of everything in existence," shouldn't it include, you know, math?? "Loneliness+alienation+fear+despair"? That's a Cure song, not an equation...

3 comments:

  1. Yes to everything you just said.

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  2. Heh, heh, heh ... I can't WAIT to see Barry plant a big wet one on Batman. ;-)

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