It's been said before by others, doubtlessly better, and it will be said again...but sometimes Superman was the biggest dickweed in the multiverse. Case in point: Action Comics #252 (1959), the debut of Supergirl.
The first panel of the story, while not exactly an example of dickweedery, is a head-scratcher:
It's odd enough that Superman would automatically assume that a flying youngster in a super-costume" must be an illusion, since by this point he had met more than one super-powered female. Heck, we had already established that as a youth, Superboy had met the Legion. Even given non-existent 1950's continuity, it's an odd reaction.
Anyway, Superman soon discovers that he and Kara are related--cousins!! And there was much rejoicing!!
So, it's "the happiest moment in Superman's life," so obviously, he'll let Kara come and live with him, right? Not so fast:
Uhhh...yeah...because that's why Bruce Wayne kicked Dick Grayson to the curb, and Ollie Queen told Roy Harper to hit the road...oh, wait, they didn't do that, did they? Your secret identity "might be" jeopardized by a new ward or long-lost cousin coming to live with Clark Kent, when it didn't bother those other guys? You couldn't be bothered to make the same effort??
Well, that's OK, it's still the "happiest event of Superman's lonely life. " Kal-El, you're not alone anymore, surely you've found a loving family for her to live with while she helps you fight crime, right? That's his "great idea for her future life," right?? Not so fast:
Oh. So you're so overjoyed to see her, you forbid her to use her powers and stick her in an orphanage. AN ORPHANAGE!!
So, as you see, Superman was basically a Dickensian villain...his long-lost relative shows up, and rather than inconvenience himself in the slightest (or share the spotlight in the slightest), he sends her away to be warehoused with the unwanted children. Rather than giving her the benefit of a loving home, as he had, he institutionalizes her. Instead of letting enjoy a career as a super-powered teenager, like he did, he arbitrarily forbids her to use her powers until "someday."
Superman: you, sir, are a dickweed.
The first panel of the story, while not exactly an example of dickweedery, is a head-scratcher:
It's odd enough that Superman would automatically assume that a flying youngster in a super-costume" must be an illusion, since by this point he had met more than one super-powered female. Heck, we had already established that as a youth, Superboy had met the Legion. Even given non-existent 1950's continuity, it's an odd reaction.Anyway, Superman soon discovers that he and Kara are related--cousins!! And there was much rejoicing!!
So, it's "the happiest moment in Superman's life," so obviously, he'll let Kara come and live with him, right? Not so fast:
Uhhh...yeah...because that's why Bruce Wayne kicked Dick Grayson to the curb, and Ollie Queen told Roy Harper to hit the road...oh, wait, they didn't do that, did they? Your secret identity "might be" jeopardized by a new ward or long-lost cousin coming to live with Clark Kent, when it didn't bother those other guys? You couldn't be bothered to make the same effort??Well, that's OK, it's still the "happiest event of Superman's lonely life. " Kal-El, you're not alone anymore, surely you've found a loving family for her to live with while she helps you fight crime, right? That's his "great idea for her future life," right?? Not so fast:
Oh. So you're so overjoyed to see her, you forbid her to use her powers and stick her in an orphanage. AN ORPHANAGE!! So, as you see, Superman was basically a Dickensian villain...his long-lost relative shows up, and rather than inconvenience himself in the slightest (or share the spotlight in the slightest), he sends her away to be warehoused with the unwanted children. Rather than giving her the benefit of a loving home, as he had, he institutionalizes her. Instead of letting enjoy a career as a super-powered teenager, like he did, he arbitrarily forbids her to use her powers until "someday."
Superman: you, sir, are a dickweed.
I'm not sure I can go along with this one. For one thing, Kal had to learn to use and control his powers, which he did from babyhood. Clark taking on a "young ward" on a reporter's salary is a bit different that some rich guy with no kids taking on a ward, although being his cousin he could have explained it while Kara trained in secret. Then she could have appeared sometime *after* Clark's cousin and no harm.
ReplyDeleteI will agree that the orphanage is a bit cold, but since his Earth parents are dead pre-Crisis, I'm not sure where else he could take her. The big problem is that the writer tried to fit too much into too short a time, so Supes comes off like a jerk. All the other examples don't help, either. :)
Shadow--I don't think there has been a single story in the history of DC's Silver Age in which there was the teensiest concern over whether someone's lifestyle was commensurate with their salary. Just look at Jimmy Olson's lifestyle...Anyway, Lois had so many outfits, the Daily Planet must have been paying big bucks. (Plus, since Kryptonians don't need to eat, sleep, etc, Clark's overhead is pretty damn low, right?)
ReplyDeleteI suppose he could have sent Kara to hang with Lori Lemaris, or Wonder Woman, or hell, send her to live and train with the Legion.
Still, you've gotta admit, for the "happiest day in his lonely life," Kal-El's in a pretty big rush to pawn off Kara onto the first available dumping ground...
There is a certain lack of catch-up time, isn't there?
ReplyDelete"Hey, Superman, I'm your cousin."
"Yes, now I'm not alone."
"So I can move in with you?"
"Nope, I'm going to run you over to the orphanage right this second."
You'd think he'd at least take her out for ice cream or something (no Starbucks back then) and get to know each other, even if he has to get her a normal set of clothes (which she'll need at the orphanage anyway) first. Doesn't even tell her what his secret identity is yet.
I may be stretching on living arrangements, but you have to admit I'm right about delaying her crimefighting career until she's had some instruction and learned to control her powers. And important details like making sure she always wears panties with that skirt.