Monday, July 7, 2008

Marvel 1968 Week--Amazing Spider-Man #62

We continue our look back at Marvel 1968 with the help of the GIT Wayback Machine, and this time we're focusing on Amazing Spider-Man #62:

Dame? Dame?!?Now, I have to be honest here...this is not one of Stan's finest moments on the Webhead. Spidey is an easily manipulated dufus, Medusa is a poorly written pain in the ass, the "villain" is stupider than Jupiter...well, more as we go along. As the splash page says, why waste a second?

So much for his spider sense warning him about things like thisWait, you guys really think Medusa is "the most fabulous super-powered Glamazon in the history of comicdom?" I think Wonder Woman or Supergirl might have a thing or two to say about that!

Oh, and let's not forget our credits:

No, it's not a 'titanic triumph, guys...sorrySo who cut his webline? What, you didn't look at the cover? Medusa!!

I have nothing to say about these panelsOh, so it's Spider-Man's fault that you almost ran him over, Medusa? Get used to that attitude, people. So what's she doing there, anyway?

Gee, why would ANYBODY fear her?I think you can already pick up on the problems here. Medusa not only doesn't seem to be written in character, but her dialogue seems to be virtually indistinguishable from any other Marvel arrogant, regal figure who likes to talk trash about humanity. Namor, the Surfer...Stan could write this kind of diatribe in his sleep, and he really seems to be this issue.

Anyway, Medusa files off on her merry mission, when Larry Tate (OK, not really) spies her flying by:

Now that's making decisions by the seat of your pants!
Uhhh...isn't hair spray supposed to STOP your hair from moving? Aren't 'living locks' OFF MESSAGEMeanwhile, Medusa lands her aircraft right in the middle of a New York City intersection. And she's shocked--shocked, I tell you--that people are afraid of an unknown costumed figure with crazy hair and mystery agenda lands in their midst with no explanation:

With Medusa, it's always everybody else's faultThat's when Darrin Stevens (no, not really) makes the pitch:

Maybe Lindsay Lohan would have been a better choice...Yeah, like you've worked a day in your life, your highness. Meanwhile, Peter Parker's soap opera is going on. Gwen Stacy is ticked at him because he punched her father (while he was brainwashed by the Kingpin)...

Ahhh, Gwen...how we miss you (pre-JMS)And Norman Osborn is starting to have those memories again:

Note--thanks to Joe Q, this story never happened, maybeOf course, since we're told that, as a result of One More Day, NO ONE knows Spidey's identity, I guess Norman's not really having those memories after all. Yup. Makes sense to me.

But back to her red-headedness. She makes a deal with the ad agency.

Medusa takes the Paris Hilton approach to studying humanity"Your word is your bond"?? Please, girlfriend. Just two pages later, Medusa gets bored, trashes the studio and walks out.

But your word was supposed to be your bond!
So much for 'no need for contracts/So, lying, welshing on a deal, and unprovoked property destruction. Yeah, Medusa, those humans have nooo reason at all to fear and distrust you Inhumans, do they?

Our ad man won't take this lying down, though. He sees Spidey swinging by, calls out to him, and spins one bodacious lie:

The worst, stupidest lie ever...and Spidey falls for itNow, Peter Parker may be smart, but man, is he dumb. He buys the story hook, line and sinker, and sets off to stop Medusa from "destroying the city," never bothering to ask why her alleged campaign of terror began at an ad agency. Well, no one said he had the proportional intelligence of a Spider, after all. Meanwhile, the ad exec sends all his photographers to the city's rooftops, the better to take advantage of all the free publicity the upcoming battle will create for the hair spray. Yes, he's stupid. Just wait for it...

Anyhoo, the wallcrawler catches up to Medusa, and it wouldn't be much of a comic if she didn't immediately respond with violence:

A feisty redhead with a whole lot of 'slpainin' to do??A terribly non-interesting battle takes place, featuring the most obnoxiously sexist line of 1968:

No wonder Pete can't keep a girlfriendOh, Spidey...(and oh, Stan)...

As must inevitably must occur, Medusa and Spider-Man learn the truth, and she takes off to find the footlights, and he takes off to find the sky. She leaves, issuing yet another broadside about how awful humans are, how violent and suspicious. Pot, meet kettle. In every single situation, Medusa has shown no empathy whatsoever for anyone, has broken her word, and reacted with violence to every frustration. But that's humanity's fault. Yup.

And our weasly ad executive? He gets his:

Great moments in dumbasseryWhat, is that the fastest sales reports ever? The battle took place just hours ago, and already we know that sales have dropped?? That's internet fast, baby, not 1968 fast! And Larry Tate never, ever figured out that having a violent, speciest, out-of-control arrogant princess as your spokesman might not be good for sales?? Sheesh.

And Peter's personal life? Well, his relationship with Gwen isn't even cold yet, and Mary Jane is already moving in for the kill.

Oh, Mary Jane you man-stealing hoCold, Mary Jane. Cold.

So, this wasn't a great issue. Boring, cliched, and silly, actually. But look what we missed next issue:

Actually, the next issue has *two* Vultures!!D'oh!!

Our letter of the month is a missive from Don Gembala, who is going to be very disappointed by the next 4 decades of Spider-Man:

look--bonus gratutious sexism!!Sorry, Don, whatever happiness Peter had coming, was wiped out by death, idiotic retcons, and deals with Satan.

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Fun cover, but WORST LOGO EVERApparently, this was Medusa Month, as Marvel Super-Heroes #15 featrued an all-new 25-page Medusa story, by Archie Goodwin and Gene Colan. From the Bullpen Bulletins: "Having whetted your appetite for the lady with the living hair in SPIDER-MAN, we now present the exciting Inhuman in her own full-length thriller!" The only flaw with that theory, of course, is that my appetite was not whetted one whit. Still, the Colan artwork on the cover looks enticing... I hope Archie made her a somewhat more appealing character than Stan did.

Final question: Medusa vs. Doctor Octopus: why haven't we seen this yet?

Marvel 1968 Week continues Wednesday with: The X-Men!!

8 comments:

  1. So what was in the letter?

    Yes, after all that, the letter is the only thing I can think to wrap my head around.

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  2. Quick question: Medusa's one of the Inhumans, right? So how/why did she hook up with the Frightful Four?

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  3. Shadow--sorry, I punted the cut & paste on that. All better now.

    Khairul--when she first hooked up with the Frightful Four, she was suffering from amnesia after a plane crash. (FF #36). Eventually she regained her memory...when they asked her to join again (FF #94) she pretended to still be evil, so she could help the FF "from the inside."

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  4. Double bonus points for working in an anachronistic Harry Chapin lyric reference!

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  5. I don't think was even Medusa.
    I suspect a Skrull scount was checking things out.

    B. Bendis

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  6. Because I'm totally crass, is Medusa's hair down there prehensile as well?

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  7. Uhhhh...that IS her hair from down there...

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  8. This was one of the first Spiderman comics I owned (this and The one with Kingpin drowning JJJ and Spidey in a basement). I was always floored by the image of the goblin unmasking our web-slinger (at the time not having seen or read those famous issues) and Osbourn struggling with his memory. Also the very last panel (the one that appears after MJ and PP above)shows Petey walking away always stuck with me as such a dynamic counterpoint to the action. Classic Romita!

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