Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday Night Fights--Albino Gorilla Style!!

A madman has transplanted his mind into the body of an albino gorilla, and is on a murder spree in Gotham City. What do you think is gonna happen?

Leave my monkey aloneNow, despite what you long-time nerds are thinking, this is NOT the Ultra-Humanite that Batman is fighting. No, this is the other DC villain to transplant his mind into an albino gorilla, Xavier Simon. You've never heard of him? Hey, don't ask Jim Starlin questions when he's on a roll!!

How to beat the gorilla? First, Batman needs an equalizer.

Batman pulls Excalibur from the stone...Then, let the beat down begin:

Batman spanking the monkey...And yet, somehow, Batman doesn't finish him?

...the monkey spanking BatmanNope. So how does the Caped Crusader get out of this one?

Well, he doesn't, really. A private security guard shoots Simon in the back, creating some great sound effects, and a terse thanks from the Dark Knight.

Wait...Batman didn't win?Hmmm, that's not the way we usually end things here for a Friday Night Fights. Kind of a downer, huh? Batman doesn't even beat the bad guy. Whatever shall we do?

Now that's more like itThank you, Batgirl!!

'Twas Bahlactus that killed the Beast, or the albino gorilla, or whatever...

Batman's colossal failure (as well as Batgirl's triumph) is shown in Detective Comics Starring the Batman Family #482. Now if only we could get Batman one on one with the Ultra-Humanite...

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