Sunday, June 27, 2010

Goldn Age Idol--McLovin!!

Look, I'll admit it--not every forgotten Golden Age hero is worthy of a modern revival. Sometimes, they're just, well, really lame.

Case in point?


Well, let's check out his origin, as young lumberjack Justin Wright is summoned across the country to a lawyer's office:

Apparently, Justin thought he spontaneously generated or something...anyway, let's borrow from Batman's origin, shall we??

Well, it's the orphan vowing revenge on crime for murdered parents, hardly original, even then. Still we really can't hold that too much against them--it is only 1941, after all. But "something will be done" isn't the most stirring motto ever...

So, besides a kajillion dollars and an empty house, the only thing Justin inherited from his parents is...

But it's no ordinary scarf!!

Oh, wait, it is an ordinary scarf. What can you do with that?

Seriously?? That's your whole disguise??

Oh, dear...fortunately, Justin realized that the east coast wasn't ready for a grunge superhero yet, so he did make one alteration:

So, yeah, that's it. Wearing a scarf over his eyes, in a suit (with, apparently, no socks!!), Justin's going to go out and fight crime. (You'll note that the scarf randomly changes between white and red throughout the story...damn 1941 computer coloring!)

And aside from being bitten by a radioactive lumberjack, Justin has no powers...just the ability to hit crooks so hard they see heavenly objects:

Well, that's it...hey, wait a minute--what about his super-hero name? He wouldn't bother with a mask if he were just going to call himself Justin Wright, right? So what does he call himself?

You're kidding me!

No, seriously--that's just the crooks calling him that, right?!?

Oh, sweet Betsy no--he's calling himself Just 'N' Right.

His name is Justin Wright, and he calls himself Just 'N' Right. With a see-through scarf over his eyes as his only disguise.

It's pretty much the super-hero version of McLovin.

No wonder this guy never made any other appearances--it probably took the gangland bosses all of 30 seconds to pierce that intricate web of deception.

No doubt his bullet-riddled corpse was pulled from the river, the police taking one look at the silk scarf and lumberjack clothes underneath his suit, and calling in SVU.

Sorry, Justin Wright--we've got no room for you here in 2010. Still, Just 'N' Right would make a good name for a high-fiber cereal...

McLovin's Just 'N' Right's first (and only) appearance was in Doll Man #1 (1941).


Mark Engblom said...

Even by Golden Age standards, that's some spectacularly awful stuff.

notintheface said...

Ironic that he appeared in the Doll Man comic. Now there's another guy who had terrible secret identity concealment. Doll Man didn't even have a mask. He looked exactly like Darrell Dane, except he was tiny and had a funny outfit. Apparently his girlfriend Martha Roberts didn't have any photographs in her home. I mean, when was the last time I saw a current 8x10 of my wife or my brother or my parents and COULD NOT RECOGNIZE THEM AT ALL just because their likenesses were much smaller than actual size?