Friday, August 10, 2018

Dual E For Eternity--Meet Dr. Shrinker!!

Let's get this out of the way quickly--this 1947 story makes frequent use of the word "midget," which is considered offensive by many (although not universally so).

Whatever your feelings on the matter, there's really no way to avoid the word and still cover this story--the term is used pervasively (and frequently incorrectly). So if you feel the need to skip this post, I can hardly blame you. And in all honesty, it's not much of a story. Just skip all the way to the standings at the end--you won't miss much.

We start in another one of those fictional countries...

Maybe an island called "Islandia" is a bit on the nose?

Anyway, Zero and his droog Gont have plans for this hidden paradise:

Fortunately, Kid and Keeper chose this time for a little R & R!

So the biological warfare begins...

...and people are in for a BIG surprise:

Which leads to Kid getting involved...

Sherlock Holmes!! Congratulations, detective--this is your 3rd summons, putting you into a tie for second place!!

But of course, Holmes, while a brilliant mind, is no doctor. So...

John H. Watson, MD!! Man, it's good to see Holmes and Watson together again, even if it is only for two panels.

Still, Watson is only a fictional doctor, and a general practitioner at that, so I don't know how much you should trust his using a stethoscope to the back to determine that the pituitary gland has "dried up."

Holmes stays on the case...

...while Zero revels in his new situation!


Kid visits the chemist...

That's what he was doing before you interrupted him, Kid!! Sheesh, let the man do his job!

Too bad you delayed him, because just at that moment?

Dude--finish your job!!

Holmes continues his tracking...

...while we find out that cats are truly evil!

Yup, it turns out that the people of Islandia are shrinking too much. Zero and Gont miscalculated!!

But they have a plan: followed their tracks--you know the cause "must" be in the water, and you find two foreigners messing with the water--and yet you conclude they're innocent?!?!!

Where's the real Sherlock Holmes, you faker?!?

So whom does Kid call now?

Lemuel Gulliver!

Gee, I'm not sure why you called him, Kid...he sounds like he's pretty clueless in this situation! And you really think he'll be better at dealing with criminals than Sherlock Holmes?!?

Fortunately, despite being (apparently) brilliant scientists. Zero and Gont are bone-stupid:

So, wait--they spiked the water, AND NOW THEY'RE DRINKING THE WATER?!?!?! They didn't secure their own water supply before starting this scheme?!?

Seriously, if they were this dumb, how did they expect to rule Islandia?

Gulliver tracks them down, as the special effects kick in:


So, Zero was already going to restore everyone--SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS STUPID STORY??!!


But...but...the "restorer" just undid the effects of the shrinking gas! It wouldn't make people who were naturally short tall, would it? If not, why don't these two get the Nobel prize for inventing Pym Particles?

Thank you, Gulliver, for...well, grabbing two shrinking people who were running away, something no one else could have done??

Man, this was a stupid story.

It was also the 47th Kid Eternity story, and our standings are:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Antony, Marc 2
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 2
de Bergerac, Cyrano 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 1
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 3
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houdini 2
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 1
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Mercury 4
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 2
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 2
Rogers' Rangers 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 1
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--All words, no pictures!!

From Kid Eternity #8 (1947)

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