Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Raddest Man Alive

I know this is Unofficial Mike-Zeck-Era Master Of Kung Fu Week, but we musn't ignore the contributions of the man who scripted over 100 issues: Doug Moench.

How rad was Moench? Well, at the exact same time he was writing the deep and violent MOKF, he was also writing--

a continuing Godzilla series, wherein Godzilla trashes Las Vegas, and fights the Champions, Fantastic Four, Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D....AND Devil Dinosaur. But wait, there's more!! Because at the EXACT same time, he was also writing--

SHOGUN WARRIORS!! Giant mecha robots battling monsters and other giant robots! And yes, it was set in the Marvel Universe.

Folks, that's versatility.

Man...Godzilla, Rom, Shogun Warriors, Micronauts...the Marvel Universe sure was a fun place back in 1979...

Ad appeared in Master Of Kung Fu #74 (1979).

Games Of Death And Deceit

Sir Denis Nayland Smith and crew are on the run from a rogue faction of MI-6, so they've decided to hole up at his ancestral Scottish castle (hey, it's England--they ALL have ancestral castles!):



D'OH!!!!!!

Yup, it's still Unofficial Mike-Zeck-Era Master Of Kung Fu Week. This bit of failed quadruple thinking comes from Master Of Kung Fu #73 (1979).

Monday, March 30, 2009

Manic Monday--Shang Chi, Master Of Kung Fu F.A.Q.

Q: What is Shang-Chi's favorite album?



(Google it, lazybones--you want me to do all the work for you?)

Q: What does Shang-Chi think of pizza?

Q: Can Shang-Chi bring the lovin'?


Ladies and gentleman, Comic Code approved lovin'.

Q: What is Shang-Chi's favorite movie?

Really?

Q: Who is Black Jack Tarr's favorite artist?

Q: What is the absolute coolest, most influential scene in Master of Kung Fu history?

Well, around here, at least...

All panels from The Hands Of Shang-Chi, Master Of Kung Fu #71, 72 and 75 (1978-1979)...all by Doug Moench, Mike Zeck, and Bruce Patterson.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

You Know Who Doesn't Get Enough Props?

Mike Zeck, that's who doesn 't get enough props. Especially when it comes to Master of Kung Fu.

All too often he gets disregarded as the "guy who came between Paul Gulacy and Gene Day." Which is not only nuts, but way unfair.

Zeck's first real work for Marvel was MOKF #55, when, in his own words, "Marvel needed 22 pages of pencils in a week." After (seemingly constantly) pitching in fill-in issues because Jim Craig simply couldn't come anywhere near meeting a monthly deadline, Zeck was finally offered the job permanently with #71 (he had already been drawing all the issues since #67).

His tenure on MOKF was as versatile as it was underrated, as Shang-Chi and company blithely skipped from back-alley gang fights to cartoonish super-villains to grand sci-fi opuses to vicious kung fu battles...and usually a mix off all of those.

He's better known for his work on the Punisher and Secret Wars and Kraven's Last Hunt, but I come to tell you this--Zeck rocked MOKF hard.

So, this week has become the Unofficial Mike-Zeck-Era Master Of Kung Fu Week. Join us, won't you?

All pencils and inks by Mike Zeck, except the cover to MOKF #97, which was inked by John Beatty

Saturday, March 28, 2009

And Your Little Dog, Too!

Two things I've learned from recent searches that have led people to this blog:

A) People really, really, REALLY cannot spell "cowl."

B) Someone used the phrases "wizard of oz" "pick up lines" to find me, which is so wrong on so many levels.

Then again, for some unfathomable reason Slay Monstrobot came up #1 in that search (thanks, Google!!), so, let's give the people what they want.

"Say, baby, I know where we can get a lot of poppies."
"Are you a good witch, a bad witch, or a really bad witch?"
"Surrender, Dorothy."
"Would you like to see my courage?"
"Care to pet my winged monkey?"
"Those ruby slippers really do reflect up, don't they?"

Man, I'm am so going to Hell...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Friday Night Fights--Why Can't We All Just Get Along Style!!

Only one panel to bring da pain?

Hey, I needed those intestines!!Consider it brought.

Spacebooger, though, wouldn't have needed to use a shield.

Guardian disemboweling Gangbuster is from Superman #27 (1989), brought to us by Roger Stern, Kerry Gammil, and Brett Breeding. Don't worry, kids...Gangbuster got better!!


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Houdini Snacks?

This is probably more in Michael May's bailiwick...but I'm reading a biography, and I discover the 17th coolest thing ever:

But you MUST pay the rent!!Harry Houdini versus a robot!!

That's actually a lobby card from a 1920 movie serial starring Houdini, "The Master Mystery." OK, so they weren't very good with titles yet back then...that picture comes from the book The Secret Life of Houdini by William Kalush and Larry Sloman.

Here's an American and a French poster:

This guy would have made 'I, Robot' much better
All robots should have teethSome say that this is the first ever motion picture appearance of a robot, although there seems to be some disagreement. But (SPOILER ALERT for a 90 year old silent film serial) it turns out that it's not really a robot--the bad guy is just dressing up like a robot.

Which, of course, begs the question: If there had never been an on-screen depiction of a robot, how the did villain come up with idea to dress up like a robot? If only Scooby Doo were here to help us...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Who Watches The Keene Act

One thing that always puzzled me a bit about Watchmen, even back in the day, was the Keene Act.

In the history of the Watchmen's America, in 1977 the police in New York City and Washington DC went on strike, "claiming that costumed adventurers are making their job impossible."

Fact: people in comics demonstrate far more readily than real Americans doAs a result, the federal government rushed through the Keene Act, so "vigilantism is now illegal again, as it was before they altered the laws to accommodate strategically useful talents."

And that's about all that Moore and Gibbons tell us. In this deeply detailed world, one of the most important story elements is really just glossed over, without a lot of explanation or detail.

Let's leave aside the question of federal involvement. After all, both Marvel and DC have, at various times, had the federal government step in and ban heroes...although nothing remotely on the scale of Stamford happens pre-Keene here, not that we know of. And we'll leave aside the issue of why a federal law is being enforced by local cops, and the only captured vigilante is put into a state prison. Where's the FBI? Shouldn't Rorschach be in federal custody?

Perhaps the more important question is, would we really have two cities (or were there more?) worth of police strikes and a massive federal intervention, over the activities of 3 non-powered dudes in masks?

All this mishegas for just 3 people??In 1977, Ozymandias had already been retired for a couple of years. Doc Manhattan and the Comedian are "exempt" from the Keen Act, because they "work entirely for the government."

All we are is dust in the wind, dudes
Serious question--would the Nixon portrayed here have allowed the Shah to be deposed? Would there have been an Iranian hostage crisisWhich means the police strikes, and the vast public hatred of masks, was somehow caused by Nite Owl II, Rorschach, and Silk Spectre II. These are the only heroes (aside from the "exempts") active in 1977, unless there's an awful lot Moore and Gibbons weren't telling us. The entire point of the police strikes and the Keene Act was just to ban 3 people? Really?

The other thing to consider, is why the opposition to heroes? By 1977, masks had been operating for almost 40 years. There was nothing new here. Look at all the newspaper clippings and trophies in the background in the various chapters...masks operated with some level of acclaim and public acceptance. As late as 1962, they're having a "civic banquet" and "in gratitude" awards for Nite Owl I. For four decades masks had been tolerated, and even celebrated.

Gratitude apparently expires in 15 yearsSo why, exactly, did the police suddenly find that masks were "making their job impossible?" There's not even a hint in the comics. During Veidt's mammoth 9,000-page Sorkinesque walk-and-talk exposition in issue 11, he opines that Doc Manhattan "somehow symbolized mankind's problems. As tensions rose, the elevation of costumed heroes became a descent...I foresaw that by the late Seventies, it would reach bottom." But that doesn't really explain a massive police strike. That still seems to beg some sort of precipitating incident, doesn't it? Some mini-Stamford, if you will, some event that lit off the powder keg.

(Before anyone suggests Veidt somehow manipulated events, I'd say that if he had done so, he certainly would have boasted about it in #11, as he brags about every iota of his life and plans. Seriously, the issue is 10,453 pages of self-aggrandizing exposition, a real-momentum killer...just in case you thought Watchmen in graphic novel form was perfect.)

Moore and Gibbons leave us to speculate for ourselves, then. Would the activities of 3 masks be enough to cause every cop to walk off the job?!? How was their job made impossible?

I've got a theory, backed by nothing but speculation. But Rorschach's kidnap case, the one that drove him around the bend, was in 1975. In those 2 years before the strikes, Rorschach was no longer "soft," and would kill many of the crooks he caught. So the police and the public would be confronted with a growing pile of bodies, and gazing into that abyss made them lose sympathy for all the heroes.

Still, there's no real spark, is there? But what if...what if Rorschach had beaten the crap out of, or even killed, an undercover cop, mistaking him for a perp? That would be spark enough, wouldn't it? And while we see Manhattan and the Comedian and Silk Spectre and Nite Owl dealing with the Keen riots, we never see Rorschach there...so we don't get his thoughts on the police strike, or the anarchy, or the causes. Hmmmm...

Just a theory, nothing to back it up. But seriously, can you see anything Nite Owl or Silk Spectre doing being enough to cause a police strike? We can only wonder, because the authors didn't clue us in...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Bulletman's Rogue's Gallery

I love lame rogue's galleries, like Aquaman's. But there's something special about the Golden Age, when you got 1,000 pages for a dime, and a character might appear in 3 or 4 different comics each month. Obviously the creators really had to stretch to come up with villains for all those stories.

So I shouldn't be too harsh when it comes to Bulletman's dire enemies. But still...

Taking lessons from Doctor Manhattan, obviouslyCome again?

Follwed by The Pranks of Captain Prank, and...OK, I can't say they're ripping anything off, because this predates DC's Riddler by six years. But couldn't they come up with a more creative title than the Riddle of Dr. Riddle? What else is he going to bring? Tacos?

Let's take a closer look at all the villains in Bulletman #50 (1942).

The lead story has Bulletman and Bulletgirl facing...

So NOT a LebowskiThe Dude. Really. What's his gimmick?

Now let's go bowlingAh, dapperness as a personality defect. Loverly.

Next up, not a joke, not a hoax, not a hallucination:

Gravity control, super strength, flight, heightened intelligence...and we're befuddled by a fat man with a caneYes, they must battle a guy...who is fat.

Again, to be fair, this predates the Kingpin by 2+ decades, and the guy is a pretty nasty piece of work. Click on the following page if you want to see a full size nightmare inducer (he had come across two youths fighting over a sweater):

Wertham was right!!Ewww. It turns out the quarter was coated with a deadly contact poison. Here's a close-up of evil:

Remember--comics today are too grim!!Look kids, comics!!

So Fat Bastard (I mean Fat Fiend) wasn't so lame...but couldn't they have come up with a better name??

Next up, the fellow called out on the cover:

The anti-DudeHe pretty much follow what would become the Riddler's motif--leaving riddles forecasting his next crimes. The big difference between this guy and Edward Nigma? This guy's a stone killer, killing his victims 80% of the time. Plus, the riddles aren't all that good (What has eighteen legs and catches flies in the same story as What has four wheels and flies? When is a door not a door?!? That was lame and cliche even back then...) Also, there's no evidence that this guy actually has a doctorate in Riddleology...

Last up...

I have nothing to say hereYup, another murdering bastard. The Murder Prophet's gimmick was that he forecast his crimes to a local paper so they could build their circulation by beating the other papers...then of course he tried to kill the owner and take over the powerful paper himself (PROTIP: not likely to happen in 2009).

You know, I'm not sure sure whether they ever declared what city Bulletman's adventures took place in, but man, it's a cesspool that makes Gotham City look like Metropolis. It seems like every villain--every one--is a vile murderer, leaving a trail of bodies before our heroes get involved. The stories in this one issue had 21 on-page murders, and "many others" off-screen. Let's see, 50 issues, 20 murders each, plus his adventures in Nickel Comics and Master Comics and America's Greatest Comics...this city should be pretty near de-populated by now!!

Maybe Bulletman's villains weren't so lame after all...a little bit of PR, a different costume and name...they could have been contenders.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Manic Monday--Kadets Of America

For once, I'm absolutely speechless, as I have no idea of what to make of this:



I'm sure it's perfectly innocent...but it sure gives me the heebie-jeebies...

This ad appeared in Plastic Man #64 (1956).

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The More Things Change...

For years, we've heard complaints about some artists being terrible at drawing feet. That's nothing new, though. Allow me to present a letter from Fantastic Four #12 (1963):



Even The King wasn't immune from feet fetishists.

I sure hope Tommy Jones of Aberdeen, Maryland wasn't still reading comics in the 1990's...his poor head might have exploded.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Early April Fools??

So, this week at ComicsPRO, Wildstorm announced that the Grant Morrison/Jim Lee run on WildC.A.Ts would be released a graphic novel, which will be solicited "only after it's complete."

They also said that the final issue of Planetary would ship "sometime this year."

Hahahahahaha...oh, wait, they weren't joking?

I'm just a poor corrupt official, but I'd be willing to wager many quatloos against both of those things happening in 2009. Heck, give me good odds and I'd bet that neither would happen.

Some other bloggers out there have wondered about Wildstorm having an identity problem as a brand. Me, I think they've got a perfectly clear identity as the home for unfinished-runs-by-popular-creators-who-are-slower-than-hell-or-else-left-to-do-better-paying-work-for-the-Big-Two (not to mention home for near-infinite-relaunches-of-the-same-five-franchises).

For all the (justified) mockery of the delays for Ultimate Hulk vs.Wolverine, we're now 2 1/2 years since the release of Planetary #26 and Morrison & Lee's WildC.A.T.s vol 4 #1 (although without the same public scorn, for some reason). During which time John Cassaday found plenty of time to draw 10 or so issues of Astonishing X-Men and countless covers, including LOTS of incentive covers for Dynamite and others; and during which time Warren Ellis seems to have a comic coming out every week; and during which time Morrison & Lee have been apparently too busy in high-profile work for DC to actually tell more than 1/6 of their story. Guys, I really love Planetary (WildC.A.T.s not so much)--but it's hard for me to work up any enthusiasm when the creators can't be bothered to finish their story.

That's Wildstorm--it's the comic book version of the Island of Misfit Toys.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Friday Night Fights--Hercules vs. King Arthur Style!!

Maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't piss off someone who is a modern analogue of Hercules:

You must respect the pony tailOuch, babe. And did you have to add insult to injury by swearing?

Of course, Spacebooger would have took that punch without flinching...

Matt Wagner, Matt Wagner, and Matt Wagner brought us the beatdown in Mage: The Hero Defined #15 (1999). Hey, Matt--where the hell is volume three? It's been a decade, dude...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Squid Sighting

Upon further review, the squid is indeed in the Watchmen movie...but you have to look very carefully and quickly.

mmm, Calamari...Well, not the actual fake extradimensional alien telepathic evil squid thingie. But a little hat tip.

In the scene where Doc Manhattan is teleporting the reactor to Veidt's Antarctic fortress, watch the video screen on which we see Veidt. In the background behind Ozymandias, you see his scientists gathered in a gaggle, waiting for the reactor. Behind and above them is a sign, which reads:

Sub
Quantum
Unifying
Intrinsic
Device

Yes, it looks just like that, with the intial letters bold and large. Pretty obvious, but it's only on screen for a second or so (or less)...then the incoming reactor covers it up.

So, yay, squid!!

I wish I had an Antarctic fortress...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Elson's?!?

Sometimes foraging through the quarter bins, you stumble upon something that makes you go "Wha?"

Today it's these oddball collections of DC's that I found:



As you can see, they've got exactly the same cover, except for the background color and the "series" number. They're square bound, with no price marking of any kind.

On the inside? Each one contains three (apparently random) DC issues. In their entirety, original ads and letters pages and all. Series 2 contains Superman #355, Ghosts #96, and JLA #186. Series 3 rocks out with New Teen Titans #3, Secrets of the Haunted House #32, and Wonder Woman #275. Series 5 has Legion of Super-Heroes #271, Green Lantern #136, and Super Friends #40. All of those issues are January 1981.

The inside front and back covers of the collections are blank--just empty white glossy paper, which is kind of freaky, actually.

So what the heck is Elson's? Well, fortunately, we get a little comic story on the back cover of each one:

Yet another ad spun off of the Hostess templateAnd in detail:

Yes, Kurt Cobain started here...Yes, he said "Grunge!"

Yes, please advertise rude, insulting clerks!
Since I've already purchased the comic there, do you really need to do such a hard sell?Ahhh, a chain of airport/hotel newsstands. I suppose a series of repackaged comic books might make sense for them. The GCD tells us
Other 1981 comics repackaged by DC Comics for Elson's Gift and News shops (typically in hotels and transportation hubs). Each comic has the same cover art, but the background colors and the three-issue interiors are different for each book. There is debate whether these are remaindered comics or were printed at the same time as the originals
I've done some small bit of traveling, and I've never even heard of Elson's, so either they are (were?) regional, or they went out of business way back when. It looks like remaindered repackaged comic books weren't enough to save the day.

Still, quite the nifty deal at 25¢. But given the lack of any cover pricing, and the typical evil mark-up at hotel/airport gift shops ($3 for a 12-ounce can of Coke? Are you kidding me, you sadistic thieves?!?!), what do you think these babies retailed for "new?" The three comics individually would have gone for $1.50, so I'm thinking $2.99, at least...

Oh, and the cartoon on the back is "copyright DC Comics," so DC went the extra mile and made the little story of "our hero" for Elson's. Isn't it about time DC brought this guy into mainstream continuity??

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I Talk Too Much

In celebration of my 600th post:

Wordle: Slay Monstrobot

Courtesy of Worldle, a nifty Java applet that makes a fun word collage out of your blog (or other writings). Click on the image for a full sized view. Silly, but fully customizable...or just go with the randomizer, and you might look like this:

Wordle: slay monstrobot 2
or this:

Wordle: slay monstrobot 3
OK, that's enough playing. But check out Wordle for some word-crunching fun. Heaven knows, we all need some free fun these days.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Manic Monday--Grog? What The #$%^??

From the pages of Amazing Spider-Man #4 (1963):

UhhhhWhat the?

The Hulk-speak title...the unnatural mesh of plant and animal...the apparently eternally replenishing tail (was Grog at the Sermon on the Mount??)...the thought of America overrun by "flowering fragrant shade trees" that are actually composed of dinosaur DNA...

What the #$%^?!?


I want one.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Who Rocks the Rockmen?

I'm a sucker for faux comic rock bands, as you know if you've been hanging around here for awhile.

Fortunately for my sanity, there's more to faux comic rock bands than "satire" by starched-white-collar types from the 1960s. There's also bands from the far future, as presented in the 1980's by some masters of the medium:

George Lucas would film this scene with muppetsCambot, a close-up, please:

In the future, 'Planet boy' rhymes with 'platinum,' apparentlyAh, they don't write 'em like that anymore...or yet...or something.

Music you can dance to from Alan Moore and Ian Gibson in The Ballad of Halo Jones #1 (1987), reprinting the 2000AD series from 1884.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Friday Night Fights--Four At A Time Style!!

Let's see...I only get one panel of pain. What shall I do??

Oh, yes, I know--

Where's your evil brotherhood now, Magneto?!?Show Magneto getting SHZKOW'ed by four different mutants--simultaneously!!

Ouch.

Of course, Spacebooger would have laughed off such a blow...

Claremont and Byrne bring us Magneto getting gang-powered by Cyclops, Banshee, Storm, and Phoenix takes place in Uncanny X-Men #113 (1978). And again, ouch.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Fourth Member--First There Were Three

Before we start to take a look at whom the Frightful Four would turn to in a never-ending quest to find a fourth member, we should take a moment or two to look at the 3 original members, and see why, exactly, they needed help.

Well, long answer made short: because they were a bunch of pathetic losers.

Let's start with Bentley Wittman, also known as the Wizard. Bentley was born a super-genius. Unfortunately, he was one of those Wile E. Coyote type of super-geniuses, in that he felt compelled to take on the Human Torch (in his solo series in Strange Tales) again...and again...and again...And remember, this is Johnny Storm we're talking about here, hardly an Einstein. All of the Wizard's brains and technological wonders couldn't beat even one member of the Fantastic Four.

Answer to the question, 'Can the Wizard's costume get any dorkier?'Heck, in his last solo attempt, his new invention, the anti-gravity disc, backfired on him and carried him up almost into orbit. If it wasn't Acme brand, it might as well have been.

Next up in our Trio of Tepidity is Peter Petruski, a.k.a. Paste-Pot Pete, a.k.a. The Trapster. Pete was a loser who somehow invented the "ultimate weapon"--a gun that shoots out paste. Seriously. You'd think there would be limits on how many plots you could come up with involving a guy who shoots glue--but Stan kept running him out there. (In fairness, Pete does occasionally pull out other high tech traps...but he's a paste guy at heart).

Now, I'm willing to admit that "Paste-Pot Pete" is, without doubt, the stupidest name Stan Lee ever came up with. But let's not let the King of the hook here. Shield your eyes and hide the children, friends: here's the world's first glimpse, via Jack Kirby, of Paste-Pot Pete.

This makes my brain bleedOh. My. God.

Rounding out our Founding Three is Flint Marko, the Sandman. Now, remember, this long before Spider-Man 3 idiotically decided to retcon Flint into the man who actually pulled the trigger on Uncle Ben (so therefore, even if Spidey had stopped the thief at the wrestling match, Ben would have died anyway...).

Now, I know the Sandman, if used properly, can be a pretty powerful foe. But I also know that, at this point in his career, he was a big-time loser who had struck out every single time against Spider-Man and/or the Torch. Need I remind you that, in Sandy's first appearance, Web-Head beat him with a vacuum cleaner??

Still, more impressive than Paste-Pot Pete...And it wasn't even an Oreck...

So, these nineteen-time losers meet through a quirk of fate, and they have a brainstorm...

I shall repay you by leading you to defeat after defeat!!
Or, you could go rob banks in Peoria, where there are no superheroes...OK, an idiotic brainstorm, but still. "I know we're 0-27 individually against solo Marvel heroes, but if we team up and take on the most powerful super-team out there, we're guaranteed to win!!" It's so pathetic, it's almost cute. Oh, and "let's get a woman!!" Slick, Wizard, slick.

So that's where we stand, with a triumvirate of no-accounts waiting desperately for a fourth member to make them the equal of the FF:

Least threatening group of villains EVERI suspect that even if they picked the Watcher, this group would strike out.

Stay tuned next week, wherein we introduce the First Fourth Member, and start our tally of Ways To Snatch Defeat From The Jaws Of Certain Victory. Be there, won't you?

Let's see...The Wizard's mug is from New Avengers #33 (2007), Pete's first appearance is Strange Tales #104 (1963), Sandman's suckage is Amazing Spider-Man #4 (1963), and their titanic first team-up occurred in Fantastic Four #36 (1965). Phew...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

An Unfriendly Reminder

We at Slay Monstrobot wish to remind you...

Tony seriously designed her armor with a frowny face?Lady Iron Man is most displeased by the threat of $3.99 comic books.

Yes, that's you she's looking at, Marvel. Be afraid...

snell so hopes that Gwyneth Paltrow gets to wear some armor in Iron Man 2...oh, and the panel is from Invincible Iron Man #11

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Who Watches The Passwords?

Just because sometimes, methinks, we all need to be reminded that the original Watchmen wasn't quite 100% perfect:






Wait a minute...this calls for a close-up:

Now, I realize that this was only 1987...but that's still some shockingly bad understanding of computers that Moore & Gibbons display here.

Seriously...a computer that let's you know when you have a password almost but not quite right? Talk about a hacker's paradise. That's the very opposite of computer security, and one would think "the world's smartest man" wouldn't have something so laughably stupid on his desk, especially when it held the clue to all his involvement.

Then again, that same smartest man used a variation of his own name as his computer password, so those quotation marks are looking more and more necessary. And yes, even though he filled his office with a ridiculous amount Egyptian paraphernalia to serve as a wonderfully non-subtle clue, he chose to use the Egyptian version of his name as the password. Oy.

Not to mention using a company named after for your well-known Egyptian fascination (Pyramid Deliveries) as the cut-out to hire your fake assassination, which is the only clue leading Rorschach and Nite Owl to your involvement, is hardly bright.

Frankly, that's Scooby Doo villain level stupidity.

All of which means either that Adrian Veidt was, despite all the precautions he took to cover his tracks, a stunningly stupid and careless man; or, that Moore plotted himself into a corner, and had no way to get his heroes clued into Veidt's scheme, so he had to resort to the "idiot plot" to make it work (in which a smart character inexplicably acts like a total idiot because that's the only way to get the plot from A to B).

I'm just sayin'.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Manic Monday--Hostess Ads, 1947 Style

From Wow Comics #57 (1947):

Not quite as good as Captain America whening over the Cosmic Cube with snacksYes, they had Hostess-style ads back in 1947. Except they weren't for fruit pies, they were for Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic. And instead of starring a Marvel or DC hero beating a up a villain lamely underusing his powers to get sweet treats, they involved private dick Sam Spade.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

RADIO listing in a NEWSPAPER? How quaint...Yes, a sunny day at the beach in casual swimwear is so noir. That's what I think of when I think of Sam Spade...

...and I only love you for your hair!"Water's bad for your hair?" Water is bad for your hair?? Far be it from me to pick on the grooming habits of our forebears from the forties, but really?

You moist be perfectly groomed while fighting crime, you seeTheir priorities are straight--police first, then hair tonic!!

Next, he kills her with a boneYou know, I can't decide if that's just a symbolic box of Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic hovering over the cliff, or a looming 2001-style monolith that's altering the minds and DNA of everyone in 1947. The latter would explain an awful lot about what's going on here...

Should I even ask how it can be both a cream AND an oil?? Grooming mysteries of the ancients...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Friday Night Fights--Long Arm Of The Law Style!!

Remember when your mommy told you to always trust your friendly neighborhood police officer when you're in trouble?

Wicked backhand, EdShe lied.

Sorry, no credits are known for the time Officer Ed Dorgan slapped the smirk off Duke's face. But it was in Police Comics #122 (1952).

And, believe it or not, Dorgan was the name of the principal at my high school. Which explains a hell of a lot...

But Spacebooger is too cool for school, let alone beat cops...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Truth Is Out There

How can I get a job as 'pond warden'?This is either the coolest story ever, or definitive proof that The Man is keeping a lot of stuff hidden from us.

Or both, of course.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

That Explains So Much

Last Saturday at MegaCon, Dan DiDio said (please note, this is apparently not a direct quote, but the article's summary of his statement) that Gotham City Sirens will feature the first “in continuity” Harley Quinn and will be written by Paul Dini.

Really? The first "in continuity" Harley Quinn? So the official DC line is now that Countdown never happened? Granted, that's probably for the best at this point...after all, we're still waiting for those "Challengers of the Unknown" to actually do something (snort). Still, it's kind of amazing, given all the fanfare DC put into that pathetic series, for declaring it "the spine" of the DC Universe, that DiDio can blithely say it's not in continuity...


And Harley's appearance during Dini's run on Detective Comics...not in continuity?? Really?

Perhaps next Dan can direct me to where I apply for a refund...

Monday, March 2, 2009

Manic Monday--Earliest Marvel DC Crossover Discovered!!

Yep, right here in the pages of Plastic Man #50 (1954), the battle only Marvel vs. DC could give you--Plastic man vs. Iron Fist!!

Hey, that's not what I was promised!!Oh...OK...so I was mistaken.

Obviously, this was when Plaz was at still at Quality Comics (before the Borg DC assimilated them)...and of course, that's not Daniel Rand there. Oh, well, we can still hope...in the meantime, please enjoy some moments as Plastic Man must protect the American ambassador from evil communists:

Next uyp--Steel Dragon!!See, his name really was Iron Fist!! And even his terrified underlings addressed him that way:

Jack Bauer must have read this one...And Woozy roots on Plaz (rather poorly, I might add) from the sidelines:

Thanks for the support there, WinksBut there's one big drawback about your fist becoming like unto a thing of iron:

Shocking...positively shockingYou know how many times that's happened to Danny (not to mention Misty Knight)?? A lot, probably...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Bold Fashion Choices--Boomerang!!!

Sometimes, a costume comes along that's so hideous, there's just nothing I can say that will add anything...mainly because you might already be blinded by the sheer ugliness. Ladies and gentleman: Marvel's own Boomerang!!

No, YOU were the symbol of defeat, Boomy
Wrongest prediction of 1967Ye gods.

The sad part is, Boomy's right...it is a huge improvement over his original costume:

Trust me--it's uglier on the insideCredit (or blame) goes to John Buscema and Mike Esposito in Tales to Astonish #87 (1967) for the "new improved" Boomerang. The original Boomy appearance, in TTA #81 (1966) has a cover by the King--and perhaps inked by Bill Everett--and interiors of "layouts" by Kirby and "art" by Everett, so I'm not sure whom Mr. Blackwell can go after in that one.

Seriously, these make even his dorky 80s costume look cool and sophisticated...

The boomerang over the eyes sells it...