Billy Batson Explains Current Affairs--Busing!!

The best reason to troll the quarter bin is that sometimes, you just can't freakin' believe what you end up reading. For example, check out Shazam! #28, 1977. Billy Batson is in Boston, and...well, just read it:




Thank you, Billy Batson, for using the wisdom of Solomon to explain the complex, frustrating and often violent issues of desegregating Boston schools!! (and yes, that was 100% of what was in the comic book as relates to the issue...)

And thank you, E. Nelson Bridwell and Kurt Schaffenberger, for presenting complex socio-political phenomena in a children's comic with no context or discussion of actual issues whatsoever!!

This is going to be a continuing series, kids. See Billy Batson discuss capital punishment!! Watch Billy Batson take on cloning and stem cells!! See Billy Batson deal with Identity Crisis!!

And that's all just in one issue...

Ding Dong!!

A silly activity page from Charlton's Abbott & Costello #19 (1971):

OK, not the silliest thing ever from a kiddie comic book, but still pretty silly.

Not silly enough, though, to keep me from filling out my own:

Now that would be a cool building!!

So who would you put in the building? Show your work...

A Hearty Welcome...

...from the DC Universe to the Archie Heroes. Specifically, a huge welcome to the green-and-yellow garbed standout, The Fly!!


Oops, wrong cover...how ever could I have made that mistake? Anyway, here's The Fly:

So, just out of curiosity...the whole point of Final Crisis is to bring Archie and Milestone into DC continuity? Why, you sly Grant Morrison...

Manic Monday--No Respect

Damn...Poor Harvey Dent can't even get no respect in the food spin-off category. Can't a man even get a fruit roll-up named after him, yo?

Excelsior??

Amidst the all the San Diego announcements that made DC sound like they were on a bad 90's acid flashback (Archie heroes?!? Milestone?!?), a thought occurred to me.

Geoff Johns is currently the Stan Lee of DC.

Whoa, whoa, back down, people. Let me clarify.

I'm not talking about in terms of creating a whole universe. And I'm not at all discussing in terms of talent. That's not what this post is about.

But just look at what we've got, in terms on impact on DC's output.

He's writing half the Superman Universe, and working closely in tandem with James Robinson on the other. He's writing Green Lantern, and directing all things Oan. He's writing the Justice Society, the cornerstone intergenerational legacy series of the DC Universe. He's writing the upcoming Legion of 3 Worlds, which is all about "building the Legion back up" and defining "who the Legion of Super-heroes are, and what the next step is for the Legion." (You'd think that would be a job for the man actually writing the main Legion title, which has led to plenty of speculation that Johns might be replacing Jim Shooter as the permanent author on Legion)

And now it's been announced that he is writing Flash: Rebirth, bringing back Barry Allen. And if you go by both the example of Green Lantern: Rebirth AND all of the plans Johns and artist Ethan Van Sciver discussed, it seems most likely that Johns will be taking over Flash, whatever form that mag takes.

Now, I'll emphasize again, I'm not here to discuss the pro or cons of Johns' plots, or writing style. But just look at how much DC he "controls" right now. He's in charge of Superman, Flash, Green Lantern, the JSA, and the Legion of Super-Heroes. In the modern comics' age, that's pretty darn unprecedented, isn't it? About the only thing missing from that portfolio is a Bat title. So many major properties, all in the creative hands of one man? And when you throw in the fact that DC seems unable to keep a creative on most of their other books for longer than 6 months at a time, well, it just looks more impressive by comparison.

I'm sure someone will correct me, but I think you have to go back to the late 60's, when Stan was writing or editing every Marvel title, to find the last time 1 creator had that much influence over the entire line of one of the Big Two.

Again, I'm neither approving nor disapproving. Hell, since DC editors don't seem capable, maybe having the same writer on so many titles will restore some sense of continuity to the DC Universe. I just find it curious that DC is putting so many of their eggs into one basket, as it were.

DC is Geoff Johns' world, and we're just living in it.

I Love It...

...when I'm right.

Comics I Wish I Had--Lois Lane #9

Dude, you have no idea how MUCH I want to read this issue!! Why??

A) Of course, there's the mystery reason Kal-El must use "all his superpowers" (really? Super-ventriloquism, too?) to prevent the song from becoming a hit. Aren't you dying to know it? Don't you just know that it's something ridiculously silly? Like, somehow it gives away his secret ID? Or somehow, the words and notes of the song just coincidentally mean something else in some alien tongue and will cause an alien invasion? Or somehow the song violates a pledge Superman made to Pa Kent? Then again, knowing DC, the cover is probably inaccurate, and Supes doesn't have to stop the song at all...

B) Pat Boone. I mean, Pat Boone. Somehow, I doubt "using all my super powers" means beating the crap out of Pat Boone or stranding him in the past, but we can hope.

C) The barely concealed arrogance of Superman assuming that any song about him will become a hit. Ego much?

D) The comically misdrawn guitar Pat is playing on the cover. I love you, Curt Swan, but is that a ukulele? Piano and ukulele duets must have been quite the rage in 1959. Or is Pat Boone a giant (or is the song itself mutating him??)?

E) Really, would putting Pat Boone on your cover move a lot of extra comics for you 1959? If so, that explains a heckuva lot about my parents' generation...

F) Then again, a mere 4 months after this issue appeared, Pat did get his own DC comics series...really!! So maybe he did move some issues...It lasted only 5 issues, but look at the clean-cut goodness!!

Bold Fashion Choices--Invisible Kid

Maybe I was sleeping, but when, exactly, did Invisible Kid end up with Invincible's costume??

Maybe there was a typo somewhere at the costume department...

Because the past Has Absolutely No Relation to the Future...

DC Comics' current attitude towards fans summarized nicely:

"Everybody should stop worrying about what came out, and be excited about what's coming out," said DiDio.

That a boy, Dan...keep 'em distracted with nonsense...

Batman HSM??

Where to go with the franchise after The Dark Knight? Only one direction seems possible:

Coming in 2011--Batman: Gotham City Musical!!

Silliness courtesy of Robin #175 (sort of)

My Head Just Exploded

From Newsarama:

"BOOM! Studios is also proud to announce Editor-in-Chief Mark Waid will be writing THE INCREDIBLES comic book, featuring cover art by DC: THE NEW FRONTIER writer and artist Darwyn Cooke!"

The Old Order Changeth??

There have been rumors floating around for months that Jim Shooter is going to be off the Legion of Super-Heroes.

Well, he's an interview with Geoff Johns, writer of the upcoming Legion of 3 Worlds, today at Newsarama:

Geoff Johns: Legion of 3 Worlds, while an epic on its own, sets up a lot of things for 2009 in the DCU. It’s grown out of my work on Action Comics, Justice Society of America, Green Lantern, The Flash, Teen Titans and Infinite Crisis. It’s strange, looking at it in the big picture. It’s a culmination in a sense for me and leads me to the next level and the next books.

NRAMA: So this story will have ramifications on more than just the 31st Century?

GJ: There are some major ramifications. Specifically in titles I’m working on and going to be working on. One will be announced in San Diego.

So, I'll wager 50,000 quatloos that the book announced at San Diego is the Legion. Any takers?

BTW, if you're too lazy to read the interview, the 3 legions involved are the "original" Legion (don't get me started) as depicted in their recent Action Comics run, the Zero Hour Legion, and the current Shooter run (based off the Waid reboot).

An Opposing Viewpoint

Last week, I ragged on DC's first foray into digitial comics, the "Motion Comic."

Well, today Newsarama had an interview with a couple or Warner corporate weasels discussing the concept. So in the interest of fairness, I'll present the link to it.

Warning: if you're allergic to corporate double-speak, you might want to be careful. "Designed to maximize this medium?" "Leverage the strength of the digital experience?" "We do look at core art assets to make sure they can be effectively utilized?" Yeesh. DC has been taken over by the Borg.

I Remember It As If It Were Just Yesterday...

From Marvel's October solicits, as presented at Newsarama:

SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY #1Written by DAN SLOTT Pencils & Cover by STEVE MCNIVEN Get on the BRAND NEW DAY bandwagon with the new ongoing series, reprinting the thrice-monthly AMAZING SPIDER-MAN in chronological order! Prepare for what promises to be the most pulse-pounding piece of four-color fiction to be delivered unto the Mighty Marvel Minions in decades! You asked for more Spidey! You demanded it! And, by Buckley, you're gonna get it! After the devastatingly heartwarming events of ONE MORE DAY, Peter Parker puts the past behind him and sets forth on a BRAND NEW DAY! Collecting AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #546-547.56 PGS./Rated A ...$4.99

So, let me get this straight. Marvel's going to publish an ongoing monthly series reprinting issues THAT AREN'T EVEN A YEAR OLD YET?!?!?!

Really? REALLY?!?

I mean, really?!?!!?!?!!?

UPDATED--A Man Alone?

UPDATE: It looks it was indeed Marvel policy to keep Brand New Day Spider-Man isolated from the rest of the Marvel Universe. Quesada at San Diego CC: "When we started 'Brand New Day,' we didn't want Spider-Man to start crossing over into the bigger Marvel universe. But now we're starting to bring in the old villains. You're going to see those guys in full force."

I love it when I'm right.

Back to the original post:

While reading Amazing Spider-Man #566, I noticed something.

Seeing Peter hop around in a spare Daredevil costume (what, Peter has no spare Spider suits?? One goes missing and he's out of business??), I realized that, since Brand New Day began, Peter Parker has essentially been isolated from the rest of the Marvel Universe.

There's probably a few good reasons for this, of course. Bendis' decision to make the Avengers mags all flashbacks about non-Avengers has certainly eliminated (temporarily, I hope) one of Spider-Man's main venues for interacting with other Marvel characters.

The directive that we have all-new villains has, I think, distanced Spider-Man, by not letting him interact with anyone who might have interacted with anyone else.

Unofficially, I wonder if the writers just don't want to deal with the headache of having to figure out exactly what Spidey's continuity is with other characters, what they're supposed to remember and what their current, Mephisto-altered relationship with the wallcrawler is supposed to be. Given that the Marvel "brain trust" seems to have yet to have decided exactly what's in and what's out after the retcon, it's maybe the wiser strategy.

But whatever the reason, until Daredevil showed up the past couple of issues, it's been pretty lonely for Spider-Man. And wasn't that always one of the great things about Spider-Man, that you could never tell who might turn up in his mag? Even without Marvel Team-Up, you could never tell when The Human Torch, or the Punisher, or Captain America, or Nightcrawler, or Daredevil, or gosh knows who might show up, even if only for a cameo.

But under Brand New Day (question: at what point does it stop being a brand new day??), it's almost as if Spidey were in some alternate pocket universe created by the Time Trapper, or a static warp bubble, or something. Is that what Mephisto did? Hmmm......

But really, I don't care. Dan Slott et. al., let's have Spidey start interacting with the Marvel Universe again. Please??

Hurray Me!!

Today is the one-year anniversary of this skeevy little blog. Yay me!!

I Object!!

From Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge #1:


Talk about self-serving pablum. Let's go to the tapes, shall we?

SPOILER ALERT: Flash just vibrated through the floor)

(SPOILER ALERT: The Flash on the ground is really an evil Flash from a "mirror dimension.")

Look, the Rogues claiming that they never tried to kill the Flash has all the credibility of Luthor bawling that he never tried to kill Superman. The Rogues, individually or together, left him in death trap after death trap (after death trap) in virtually every issue of the Silver Age. We just saw them above making great merry because they thought they had blown him to kingdom come!! I could have posted panels from about 100 issues if mine Flashes weren't all buried right now.

So the big question is this: is this Geoff Johns writing the Rogues as experiencing extreme cognitive dissonance at finally succeeding at killing a Flash? Or is this Geoff Johns actually retconning 25 years of Barry Allen Flash stories, arguing that the villains never really were trying to kill him, that the Silver Age shenanigans were only just "a game?" That they "let" Flash escape all those dooms?

Either way, it's kinda lame, isn't it? Plus, of course, the title of the whole series is ridiculous. "Rogues Revenge?" The person they're getting revenge against is Inertia. Why? Because they helped him kill the Flash. HUH???

Silver Age panels from Flash #155 (1965) & #174 (1967), as reprinted in Countdown Special: The Flash.

Brace Yourselves...

...but I actually liked this week's Mighty Avengers!!

I know, I know, what is this world coming to?

A couple of notes:

A) Given that issue details the background of Skrullektra, who was killed and revealed in the New Avengers; and how she was behind the prison break on the Raft, which was the impetus for re-forming the New Avengers in NA #1; given that, shouldn't this particular batch of flashbackery have taken place in New Avengers rather than Mighty Avengers?? Or is there any rhyme or reason to the well-nigh infinite run of "fill in the past" stories in those two mags?

B) Hey, look, powered Skrulls actually using, you know, powers:


One of the biggest beefs I've had with Skrullapalooza and its spin-offs is that all we get are massive indecipherable melees, with generic Skrulls in amalgamated costumes (because, you know, Skrulls apparently can mimic powers only if the mimic costumes, too). Part of that is because of the artistic shortcomings of Leinil Yu, who couldn't draw a comprehensible fight scene if you paid him (oh, wait, they are paying him). Lots of dudes with Colossus arms and visors, not a lot of bamfing or actual power use.

So, thanks for throwing us this bone, Bendis and Pham.

C) Not to get all persnickety here, but with all of these flashback issues of NA and MA, don't you get the feeling that Bendis is just shouting at the top of his lungs, "Look how clever I am, look at all of these clues I've been planting for the last 3 1/2 years, and now I'm going to show you every single one of them in intense detail just to prove how clever I am."??

Bendis is sort of the anti-Morrison...Morrison would die before he would stoop to explain any of his references, and Bendis will sidetrack the entire runs of two separate mags to do it.

I'm just saying, enough, Bendis. We get it. You're clever. Can we please have some Avengers stories, with actual Avengers in them, again??

But I did like Mighty Avengers #16. Really.

DC Doesn't Get It

You've all heard me bemoaning the lack of any kind of availability of DC's archives in a cheap and friendly digital form. No matter what the drawbacks of Marvel's current formats, they sure as hell beat NOTHING. Which is what DC had.

Well, no more. Earlier this week, Warner Bros Digital Distribution announced this:

Wow. Talk about ridiculously underwhelming.

Instead of giving us what we want--just the comics, man--Warner is going to tart them up with narration and "motion." And charge us $1.99 per issue for the privilege.

No, I'm not making this up.

On the GIT Corp DVD-ROMs, we got 500+ comics for less than 50 bucks. Complete runs of Fantastic Four, Amazing Spider-Man, Avengers, etc.

Even Marvel's forthcoming DVD releases are giving us 50 issues for 50 bucks.

And you can. if you choose, subscribe to Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited online, and for a monthly fee have access to 27,000+ back issues, all you can read.

Again, you can quibble with Marvel's formats. But lordy, DC, you're making them look good. $1.99 per? Downloads for my phone (if I happen to have Verizon with VCast)? Relatively recent releases that almost everyone who cares to already has? With the craptacular "subtle motion" of panning a camera over a panel and using computers to move figures around? With one guy doing ALL of the voices??

Listen carefully, DC (or Warner...DC is mentioned just once in the whole press release!). You have in your possession the largest, most valuable store of comic archives in the world. And you're just sitting on them, releasing them in ridiculous teensy drabs, while Marvel is freaking eating your lunch. You're getting shut out of a growing market, a huge potential source of income, not to mention a way to attract new, younger fans. How many of your readers have never read a Golden Age JSA or Flash story, and don't want to spend $50 on an Archive? You want to attract new Legion readers? Don't just publish another randomly selected "Legion's Greatest Hits" trade...that's not the best way to hook people. They need to follow the month to month relationships and soap operas. Make 'em available on a cheap DVD set.

Use those archives, DC. Get creative. Find a way to use them that Marvel is missing out on. Can you imagine what the readership would be for an online reprinting of all the stories Grant Morrison is referencing in R.I.P. or Final Crisis?? Surely there are lots of innovations, far more creative than this con job you're pulling.

Issue #1 of Watchman "motion comic" is a free download for iTunes for a couple of weeks, so check it out if you're interested. But you won't be impressed.

R.I.P.

The editors regret to inform you that snell has passed on from this mortal coil, having expired from a massive, two hour and 40 minute nerdgasm.

However, given that his last words were "I'm going to see that movie every f#$%ing day for the rest of my f#$%ing life," we suspect an overly convenient and relatively painless resurrection is at hand.

Tales From the Quarter Bin--Dr. Fate????

I've done German comics, I've done Greek comics...but have I done Mexican comics? Let's take a look at Fantastic Four #84 (1969), in the familiar English:

And now the Mexican version:

Wait a minute...that can't be the right translation, can it? Here's the back cover:

Yup...although Google translator and Alta Vista Babelfish both disagree, the translators of this issue thought the proper translation of Doctor Doom is Doctor Fate (or Doctor Destiny).

These guys do know they're doing Marvel, right?

One more difference worth noting. Here's the original splash page:

And the Mexican:

Really makes you appreciate a good letterer, eh? It's surprisingly off-putting to see an entire issue lettered by typewriter.

And to my poor Mexican compatriots--in 1981 you were getting reprints from 1969 passed off as new? Man, that sucks...

Weekend News, Notes and Whines

Whew...I'm out of breath from Marvel 1968 Week...so just a couple of (relative) quickies before the All-Star break:

***They had me until they said Jim Lee:
I'm glad to see DC finally pretend to have an actual movie plan, even if at this point it seems a little too much like a "me too" after Marvel's summer success. Still, it's got to be an improvement over the embarrassing "on-again, off-again, let's spread casting/writing/directing stories and then cancel the projects" we've seen over the past couple of years involving DC properties.

Still, Jim Lee?

***Heaven forbid Marvel 1968 prevent me from bitching about Marvel 2008. Namely, Skrullapalooza. Let skip back to Secret Invasion #1, where the S.W.O.R.D. space station is destroyed:

And now, #4:

So, even if we grant that Agent Brand was grossly underestimating the amount of oxygen she had left, these scenes mean that the entire series has taken place over what, 15 minutes?? 4 issues, 15 minutes. Wow, that has got to be some kind of new record for slow paced.

In his review this week, Caleb said, "This is a much busier issue than the last." But it really wasn't. Everything that happened was already covered elsewhere, usually better (Ms. Marvel's battles), full pages were spent for "reveals" that were already revealed elsewhere (we already knew S.H.I.E.L.D. was infiltrated with Skrulls, so why spend one whole page recapping that Jarvis-Skrull wants Maria Hill to surrender??), and lots of scurrying around, signifying absolutely nothing (Nick Fury's Avenger Babies--what exactly they were doing or accomplished, nobody knows or cares). I'll have to admit, Bendis et al have concealed it fairly masterfully. But 4 issues in, and we've had one issue's worth of plot development, if that. 4 issues, 15 minutes...wow.

***Would it be wrong of me to say that I liked Hellboy I better than I did Hellboy II? Because I did. Sorry.

***I know that Geoff Johns is bound and determined to revert Superman's status quo to pre-Crisis. And more power to him, I guess. But this bit from Action Comics #867 bugged me:

What he have here is sort of the "Indy in the refrigerator" problem. E.g., in Indy IV, when your hero survives a freaking actual nuclear explosion in the opening bit, well, you've pretty much told your audience that your hero is invulnerable, so every other bit of "peril" for the rest of the movie seems trite and unconvincing.

Same deal here. I mean look at that--we have a solar flare or whatever that VAPORISED AT LEAST THE ENTIRE QUARTER OF THE PLANET that Superman was standing on. And he survived.

Is Superman really that strong/tough/invulnerable? Should he be?? I mean, come on...the next time the Toyman shows up, what's the point? Or even Doomsday. Now that we know that nothing on Earth except some stray kryptonite can kill him, has Johns made the character boring by making him too goddmaned powerful?? (And don't get me started on Brainiac being as powerful as the Death Star...)

I like the story so far, but I wonder about the long term consequences. And next time Johns shows Kal-El staggered by some crappy ray blast or such, well, we'll know he was just puffing this sequence up to make us go "wow!"

MEANWHILE...

I'm taking a personal All-Star break to recharge my blogging batteries. I'll be back Thursday (unless something really fascinating comes up). Peace out, y'all..and go, National League!!

Marvel 1968 Week--Captain America #103

It's time to bring our time travelling trek to Marvel 1968 to an end, as we take a patriotically infused swim into the waters of Captain America #103!!

We start of with a quiet dinner in a local restaurant for Steve Rogers and fascist S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Sharon Rogers:

Brought to us by, of course:

Steve shows why he's a man for all eras:

But, after a face full of knockout gas, a bunch of thugs kidnap the future murderer of Captain America:


Of course, Exile Island is the home of Red Skull and his troupe of exiled Nazi misfits:


What a fun looking bunch. What do they do for fun??


Please don't press the rod!! Uhh...anyway, Cap is swimming to Exile Island, using an oxygen re breather he claims Tony Stark invented, but that we know damn well came from Q in Thunderball:

And like S.P.E.C.T.R.E., the Skull has surrounded his island with uniquely cool but amazingly insane traps.

Cap (after blowing up part of the installation with a kamikaze speedboat attack) makes it to land, and starts to dispatch Nazi goons!


After Cap gets taken down by a sucker punch, the Skull begins to implement his master plan:

Oh, so that's the deal with the rod!

Skull and the hideously ugly exiles quarrel over exactly how to split up the world:

Cap and Sharon, his baby momma to be, escape, but convenient thought balloons let us know that the Skull is allowing them to escape, to better implement phase two of his evil scheme. He and Cap battle whilst discussing political philosophy, as only Stan and Jack can portray:



...he and Sharon blast off, as the Skull claims triumph:

You know, there is something so totally timeless about this issue...1848, 1968, 2008...it's Cap, dammit.

Given that there's been some talk on the blogs lately about whether or not comics would better be served by more stand-alone stories, I thought I'd present this 40 year-old letter from Bill Hayes:
There we go--case closed, 4 decades ago!!

MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Feeling flush with the success of their empire, Marvel was going to try to push the boundaries a bit. From the Bullpen Bulletins:

Not a comic book?? A glossy magazine?!? Not shelved with the comic books, but with regular magazines?!?

Marvel put a ton of promotion into this, with Bullpen Bulletin items for months, a Stan's Soapbox ("an entirely new concept in superhero presentation!"), full page house ads...and yes, it did appear:

A collector's item? Well, sort of...the concept lasted a whole 2 issues. Sorry, Marvel, you can't win them all. (PRO-TIP: maybe you shouldn't have made that debut issue black & white, a fact that wasn't even mentioned in all the promotion...)

And so endeth Marvel 1968 week. What hath 40 years wrought? Some things have changed (the X-Men popular?!?), some remain the same (Cap Vs. Red Skull!!), and some are "startling" plot twists that just crop up every few decades (Jarvis betrays the Avengers?!). Some of this big issues we like to debate today--retcons, too much product published, stand alone vs. continued stories--were around back then; we just like to pretend they're new issues today.

Hope you've enjoyed the tour.